RE: Breaking the Silence §§§§ Reacquire My Fire
I don't know how I found this post, but it speaks to my past and present. Just over the last year, all of the bad things should have broken me, but they didn't and they won't break you either.
I have a t-shirt of a wolf with piercing blue eyes that I wear when things get rough. It helps to bring out that inner strength in me just when I need it the most.
I can say this. Looking back, the bad stuff that happened absolutely prevented even worse things from manifesting themselves into my life. But I was only able to see it looking back, not when I was in it. Know what I mean?
Because of that, I now have a different perspective on life than I ever did before. As George Harrison once said "All things must pass." And they will. Sending good thoughts your way. I would tell you to be strong, but you already are.
Thank you for your kind words and I can certainly relate. I have been through crazy trauma in my past in very similar ways and have achieved the same type of outlook looking back on those experiences many times... but this one is different and involves someone who, not only I care deeply about, but someone who has been committed to me for almost 7 years... so its not that easy to just let go of her, despite what my intuition may be telling me. I do fear that this may lead to a catastrophe i may have otherwise avoided if I just left, but sometimes I need to ask myself what is worth dealing with that... I think my staying with my partner may be worth the shit I have to deal with as a result... but at the same time, I need space, and need some time on my own without anyone. We are trying to figure out a healthy way to facilitate that for me while also trying to find a place for her to go during that time and being her being around people I trust. I know my soul needs space. At the end of that period, I know I will have a more clear understanding of what I have to do, and how to execute that. The bottom line is that I need to feel like I can be ok with what happened and still be with her, I cannot do that unless I get some time to myself.