Do you feel drained by giving to others? Does it feel like losing parts of yourself when you provide for them?

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Throughout history and eternally, humanity needs giving, charity and support among its members to survive and to flourish. A child needs their parents to be limitless givers. Homeless, and broken people need part of others’ time and money. Sometimes, a family member or a friend who is going through a difficult time needs part of our attention and effort. Altruism is one of the highest of moral values that very few people can afford.

All world religions and moral systems put an emphasis on the importance of being a giver. Religious scholars all over the globe keep preaching about the virtue of standing up for the needy and the rewards it incurs in the afterlife. Spirituality and morality enthusiasts encourage people to help others in all sorts.

They overlook the fact that nobody can pour from an empty cup. Can all people be in a state of helping others without considering their readiness to offer help? is anybody eligible at any time to provide for others?

The problem is that many after being givers for a long time feeling devastated for not being recognized for what they have put into the service of others. Most of us helping others to feel good about themselves or to be rewarded later in the afterlife. Many others feel like losing parts of themselves after compromising their satisfaction for the convenience of their spouses and children who eventually turned their backs to them.

No one denies that being there for others is one of the most essential human qualities, but to be a giver in any form, you need first to be there for yourself. As humans giving is an innate quality that is ingrained in our souls, however, it requires us to reach a point of growth that we feel the innate urge to provide for others.

In the same manner, a stage of physical growth is required before an individual can reproduce. When the right time comes, he feels the inner urge to find a partner for such an endeavor. Before such stage of physical development, the individual has many needs that should be met in the first place to allow for the growth needed for reproduction. Plants also can’t give off produce before they reach a stage in growth before which they have utilized the natural resources to build themselves.

As humans the right moment when we become available for giving is not measured by time or physical growth, rather the contentment and satisfaction we have grown into. It is a moment of self-actualization after which we feel like we need to share what have accomplished with others and a state of personal growth that naturally follows being satiated with what we have come into.
There would be a shift in our energy from being needy and in a state of providing for ourselves into providing to others and channeling the bliss that is bestowed upon us to them.

The significance of such need is that we voluntarily, lovingly and unconditionally provide for others, no expectations are involved and others’ recognition of what we have done is irrelevant. We only provide because we feel like providing.

Only then giving feels like acquiring, and altruism flows naturally from within us as we never feel losing something by giving it away.