Oh my... what a story. Music is the closest thing to me next to science finding the truth.
So what I found out is that tuning to 432 Hz instead of 440 made a very big difference and made me like music again. Cannot explain it eventhough I read a lot of theories.
I also had a life long suffering from inner ear inflamations due to a tiny left over hole in one of my eardrums. My daughter and I have problems eating dairy, we get a stuffed nose and I had the feeling it affected my ear canal as well.
I'm sorry about your daugher, almost everyone will deny this but research suggest vaccinations, especially the MMR vaccines. The Truth about Vaccines was aired on YouTube not so long ago. As well as The Sacred Plant series where there were kids doing good on CBD.
Good luck!