High School Memories: The Legend of Mr. Agbon (Bee)

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"He beats you on your back". We would argue. Some claimed it was on the neck. Some were of the opinion it was on the buttocks. Either way, we would use our free time to display how he would order his victim to lie down and lace his back/neck/buttocks with his two or more rods (pankere) at the same time. The least you can have if lucky is six (6). He does not rush in dishing out this strokes,he stops after each stroke to make the pain register in your body.
Then after the last stroke he would ask you to kneel down under an almond tree which he uses as his office since you find him there virtually always if he's not in class teaching and that is the end of the story. He wasted time on nothing at all. Whenever he was walking, it was as if he had an appointment with the gods. He was of average height.

He was teaching us Economics. Some said he graduated from Statistics Others from Pure Economics. The agreement was that he had a first class.
He would break his economics story sometimes and say "I am here to teach you. You better listen so that you can succeed in life. See that one. Look at that one. He's sleeping". When our heads turned, it would be one of the boys in Sciences class asleep. We hated economics!
He taught us graphs. How to plot is it demand and suppy curve or equilibrium curve? This was SS3. Yet, I have forgotten the slightest detail of this topics.
He was a pastor, "Life is not fair. I have a friend. He has made it in life. I have not made it. I am here teaching you, he has a lot of money. He works with oil company". He was plain to a fault.

He carried this pain into how he beat us. Chai!
To think I do not recall a single thing from SS3 Economics class now. I do not recall anything. Except Money and financial institution.
He was popular among teachers for the same thing he was among students. His attitude to life. One I have understood better over time. He taught us extra lessons too.

Whenever he noticed someone was not paying attention, Agbon would immediately ask that person a question. Of course, the answer was usually wrong. So Agbon would shout a "boosita omo ale (come outside, bastard!". After which he would shake his head at all of us together.
"I am going. I am not coming to your class again today. Your notes should be written and submitted. If you like, write it. If you like, don't write it. Some of you won't write it. I know. Some of you will write it and write rubbish. I know".
On a particular day,he gave me a letter inviting my parents. I cried that day. That day was my worst. I already told my Mum not to come. She said she would be busy. I was anticipating he would beat me for my Parents not coming. I preferred that to having my parents around and hearing what teachers would say.

That's how one junior student came upstairs "Ibukun, your Daddy is around". I replied "my Daddy ke? You have mixed things up". I was so confident it was not my father till I peeped through our window since the almond tree is just in front of the storey building which my class was located. He told my father "is this boy your child? Is he your child? This one does not know anything. Come let me show you how he wants to spoil his life" They said I should go and bring my notes.

I thank God for Omoniyi femi and others who lent me notes I quickly switched the backcover to mine when I got back upstairs.
Not a single teacher had a good report. And they all started with "Are you the father of this child? Eyin ni Baba e? Ah!".
The painful part was that most of it was exaggerated.
When I got home, I was expecting the worse. But nothing happened. Or maybe I do not remember.

Agbon had a funny style of marking. His correct sign was very long. He put in much force that he sometimes tore our books when trying to mark correct. And his cancel or wrong was very big. It seemed to be saying "oshi wo Lomo eleyi ko sibi". I saw the cancel more than the correct sign.
The last time we spoke, he was eating banana. I was already done with school and I went there to collect a document. He was throwing each banana inside his mouth and not chewing it. Just tossing it in like that, using his tounge to compress and swallowing it straight. He wished me luck in my career.
Agbon o raye oshi....

Thanks for reading.