Are you a Trekkie?

Well I am and... I am proud to admit it!

However, there is a continuing debate which has engrossed and aggravated Trekkies the world over for nearly 3 decades - 'who is the Ultimate Starship Captain?'

In effect - which one of these two men would YOU charge a Klingon battalion for?

Let's examine:

1. Handsome
2. Ruggedly handsome
3. Ruggedly handsome in an intellectually, wise and brave father-figure sort of way!

'This is going to be more difficult than I thought'.

We will have to delve deeper, much deeper - we have need to consult the Memory Alpha Database:

Captain Kirk

James Tiberius "Jim" Kirk was a male Human Starfleet officer in the 23rd century. He was arguably one of the most famous and highly decorated starship captains in the history of Starfleet. As the commanding officer of the Constitution-class starships USS Enterprise and USS Enterprise-A, Kirk served United Federation of Planets interests as an explorer, soldier, time-traveler, and diplomat.

His exploits were required reading for cadets studying Early Starfleet History in the 24th century. They included the saving of the Pelosians from extinction, despite it being a violation of the Prime Directive, along with his saving of the Baezians and Chenari years earlier, and a record-setting number of first contacts. This record stood until the 2370s, when Captain Kathryn Janeway set a new record by being the first Federation captain in the previously unexplored Delta Quadrant.

"Don't let them promote you. Don't let them transfer you. Don't let them do anything that takes you off the bridge of that ship because while you're there, you can make a difference." – James T. Kirk, 2371 (Star Trek Generations)

Captain Picard

Jean-Luc Picard was a celebrated Starfleet officer, archaeologist and diplomat who served during the latter two thirds of the 24th century. The highlights of his career were centered around assignments as commanding officer of the Federation starships: USS Stargazer, USS Enterprise-D, and the USS Enterprise-E. In these roles, Picard not only witnessed the major turning points of recent galactic history, but played a key role in them also, from making first contact as captain of the Federation's flagship with no fewer than 27 alien species, including the Ferengi and the Borg. He also became the chief contact point with the Q Continuum, and served as Arbiter of Succession, where he presided over the investiture of Chancellor Gowron. Picard would expose the Romulan Star Empire as backers of his chief rivals, later aiding a Romulan underground movement of dissidents to gain a toehold on the Romulan homeworld. He continued to serve as captain of the Enterprise-E, the sixth Federation starship to bear the name, until at least 2379.

"All I can say is that although we have only been together for a short time, I know that you are the finest crew in the fleet. And I would trust each of you with my life. So, I am asking you for a leap of faith — and to trust me." Captain Jean-Luc Picard (All good things...)

On historical achievement - again it is extremely difficult to separate these two Legends of Starfleet.

The only way we are going to get a verdict now is by comparing their actions in the field. As such I reveal:

The Top 5 Reasons Captain Kirk is better than Captain Picard.

1. Picard’s Enterprise was destroyed by a couple of Klingon chicks while he was stranded on a desert planet. Kirk’s Enterprise was destroyed when he blew up a crew of Klingons, stole their ship, and resurrected Spock from the dead.
2. Kirk has caused computers to self-destruct by out-thinking them on three separate occasions.
3. When Picard was in the Academy he got stabbed in the heart. When Kirk was in the Academy he beat the unbeatable Kobyoshi Maru scenario and bagged Carol Marcus in his spare time.
4. Kirk chastises omni-powerful super beings for not being polite to women.
5. When it’s time for shore leave Kirk goes rock climbing and drinks whiskey. Picard wears nut smashing banana hammock speedos and reads by the pool.

"Beam me up Scotty"

The Top 5 reasons why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk.

1. Kirk kept losing security guards throughout each season; Picard kept Worf for seven years.
2. Picard never ordered his ship to self-destruct as a bluff; when he orders it to do so, he MEANS it.
3. Picard was responsible for Beverly Crusher's husband dying, berated her son constantly in her presence, yet still manged to make her fall for him.
4. Picard would never be so stupid as to go rock climbing without equipment and rely on an overweight first officer with rocket boots to save his ass.
5. Kirk fought over women. Picard had women fight over him.

Ladies and gentlemen I now know who my 'Ultimate Starship Captain' is... but more importantly...

Who is yours?

I am... SirKnight!

With special thanks to:

http://www.startrek.com/
http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Portal:Main
http://home.earthlink.net/~markstewart/kirk.index.html
http://www.math.utah.edu/~wisnia/picard.html