I've watched A Silent Voice and Your Name also! Both are great movies that left me holding my breath and questioning multiple things. At the end of Your Name I was literally screaming at both of the characters just hoping that they'd notice each other!! (Spoiler: Thank god they did)

I have to say that forgiving yourself takes a lot of time, and most often another person to help you get through. Just remember that time goes on, and it always will. Time is able to heal most things, although a bit of help from another is always nice. I hope that one day you're able to find a good friend who will help through :)