A Geeky Dad’s Movie Guide to Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018) (2018)
This is one of the toughest reviews I have ever had to write. I am not sure how to begin.
Should I start by saying this is a poorly written movie... but you still need to pay full price for it?
Or
Should I start by saying you need to pay full price for this movie... even though it is poorly written?
The visuals in this movie are quite amazing. I think we have reached a point where one can simply assume special effects are going to be flawless (unless it is a DC comic book movie). Because that is the expectation, it has become more of a question of imagination. If the creative team dreams up some incredible ways to use the effects, I am impressed.
I was blown away by the visuals and sound of Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. I saw it in a Dolby Theater and it was worth every penny. In fact, if I had not seen it in such a high quality theater, it would have been a waste of my time.
The writing is terrible. I am a fairly smart guy and I had no idea why anything was happening the way it was. It simply made no sense.
I waited for the credits to see if J.K. Rowling would put her name on this. She did. I was thoroughly disappointed.
My wife and kids are Harry Potter fanatics. Although I enjoy the series and characters tremendously, I am not in the same class as my family. As a result, I think I have a pretty good cross section to draw from when assessing the quality of this film. Here is the spectrum on which you can find my family.
Geeky Dad - confused and did not like the movie
Geeky 11 year old daughter - confused but liked the movie
Geeky wife- not confused and enjoyed it as a "popcorn movie" (she believes I think too much)
Geeky 13 year old son - not confused and loved it (he's mad at me for ruining his experience after the fact)
In addition to the visual and sound effects, the acting was excellent. As always, the creatures are spectacular. When they are on the screen, the movie is quite fun.
I'd like more of this please... and fewer dead children.
But that is part of the problem, the Magical Creatures are not as prevalent as they were in the first film. The first one was fun and whimsical. This movie is dark... very dark. How dark? While although never shown on screen, two babies die in this movie. So that dark.
This is the first movie in the past 15 years that have stirred up the same feelings I had while watching Revenge of the Sith. I simply could not figure out why any characters were doing what they were doing. What was their motivation? Why would someone suddenly turn evil? Why did the villain stage such an elaborate plot when his goal could have been met with a phone call saying, "I know what your last name is. Do you want to meet?"
This movie clearly only intended to serve one purpose: to set the stage for the next (and hopefully final) installment. They needed to move some pieces into place. They couldn't figure out a plausible way to move them so they distracted the audience with some cool visuals while using sleight of hand to set up the board while no one was paying attention.
That part worked like a charm. Even though this movie was so bad, I still can't wait for the final chapter. If you have read the books, you know what this will lead to and I expect it to be EPIC!
Even though this movie sucked, I am really looking forward to these two sharing some screen time in the next one.
Let's cut to the chase. Would I advise a friend to see this movie? Sadly, if they are a Harry Potter fan, they have no choice. The final movie should be great. This movie is going to be required viewing before the final piece is released. If they aren't a Harry Potter fan, they should absolutely skip this movie.
Because the visual and sound effects are the true star of this film, if you are going to invest the 135 minutes in seeing it, I highly recommend you do so in the highest quality theater you can. The story is simply not enough to justify your time. It needs to lean on the special effects as a crutch.
Geeky Dad's Movie Guide
Number of times I fell asleep: 0
Number of eye rolls: 10 (I could play the "why did they do that?" drinking game with this one.)
Number of face palms: 2
Number of times I checked steemit: 0 ((Although confused, I was never bored thanks to the visuals)
Number of times I said "That's ridiculous": 5 (This is generous. It was probably more like one drawn out "That's ridiculous" for the vast majority of the movie.)
Did my kids like it: Yes!
Would I see it without my kids: Sadly... yes (It set the stage for the next movie.)
Full price/Matinee/Rental/Free/Not worth the time: Highest quality theater you can find... because you aren't spending money on the story that is for sure.
I have been so excited for this movie and even though you say it lacked the meat we might crave, I will be seeing it without question. I can't wait to see how the entire story unfolds and how they start to introduce us to some of the characters we grew to cherish before if that happens.
100% upvote from @betgames worth 0.44
"Lack of meat" is a great description. It was like a huge buffet lacking any real meat. But it's a Harry Potter buffet... so you have to eat.
BUT Johnny Depp is in it, isn't that enough :)
He does not look much like Johnny Depp in this one.
A scarier version
Great review! I also saw this movie a few days ago and had a similar reaction. The special effects and cute critters had to carry it, though there were a couple of good acting performances also. Otherwise, it reminded me of the last Star Wars movie: large cast, no real plot, and a seemingly endless series of scenes that did not measurably contribute to the story at all. I was frequently confused.
They obviously used this one to tie up some loose ends, explain a lot of connections, and introduce or highlight some characters that will probably have importance later on. As with Star Wars, I felt like some of these people were superfluous and unneeded (there were stretches of this movie where we didn't see the main character for minutes at a time). The poor snake lady walked through 3/4 of the movie without saying anything or having any importance whatsoever; she seemed like an interesting person and I hoped they would do more with her, but she ended up being no more than window dressing.
Jude Law as Dumbledore was awesome; he lit up the screen. Johnny Depp was fine, but we didn't see the character's personality to any large extent. And Newt is a fun main character. But otherwise, I didn't really like most of the characters and wasn't emotionally invested in seeing them succeed or fail. I honestly do not like either of the sisters and do not find them compelling; the sidekick dude was really abused in this one. The character development material was really poorly written and awkward for all of them; Dumbledore seemed like the only one who was even the least bit socially functional.
You nailed it! The comparison to The Last Jedi is dead on. Neither was an actual story as much as a vehicle to show some cool scenes the creative team had dreamed up... and to grab as much cash as possible.
JJ Abrams has taken back control of the final Star Wars movie. Hopefully he can fix the huge mistakes. As for Fantastic Beasts, I hope they figure something out so that I can enjoy the epic battle that awaits.
I was considering waiting till I find a decent download and save the money, but I guess that's out of the question after reading your review... Theater it is, then... not to mention the popcorn...
If you are going to invest the time, you might as well give your eyes and ears a treat.... because your brain will get none.
I thought the movie was just ok and agree with most of your criticisms. Particularly about character motivation. This feels like perhaps they are trying to make three movies out of two movies worth of story. Reminds me a bit of The Hobbit that way (only there they made three movies out of a one movie story).
I agree. I had a very similar problem with the Hobbit. I watched it once. That was plenty for me.
I keep hearing that it’s a poorly written story and to be honest JK Rowling is a good novelist but there’s a difference between writing a book and writing a script.
I’ll probably wait a bit more and buy on dvd or rent it for a couple of days on iTunes.
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It it weren't for the effects I don't know if it would be worth the time.
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I still not watched the movie. But, after reading your review I think I have to watch it as soon as possible
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