Fear of the unknown

Looking back I've been smacked with the elusive reality on my reasons for not succeeding in certain things being basically because i never really tried to put in much effort in doing those things, mostly due to gripping fear of the unknown, making mistakes I'd regret or old fashioned failure.

Everyday I would wake up and drag myself through that day like life is a burden.

Honestly if i were more engaged in some form of business or could wrap my time around something productive and beneficial, then maybe, just maybe I would have an excuse for not having the time to try doing other things...(well i was occupied chasing one thing at least) As a young individual I don't think i shouldn't be having these problems (I'm not alone), trying new things should be fun and adventurous for me but the fear of falling holds me back and I end up missing from bronze to golden opportunities or overcoming thanks to these setbacks (its all in my head).

I wouldn't want to grow dusty old filled with bitterness, sadisms, regrets and most of all self hate because I couldn't face my demons and I'm pretty sure they look just like snakes with ears and daisies tucked in.

Most people who face challenges like this and don't battle them well ends up bitter and full of negative energy...Take a look at that cranky old man down the street or next door who complains about even a cloud out of place.

From my own view I believe starting a new page, taking up a new chapter or living the way you want to all comes down to your state of mind...as I said, its all in my head!

Having a positive thought process or changing the way we think starts the chain reaction that manifests into reality. Believing in yourself goes along way in getting things done.

What else do you think i need to do to help???

That being asked, I'd love your "two cents" this is just what I feel & I do hope iv awoken the positive fight in someone. I picked up pace immediately, panicked and confused I hade to find a way out of this i thought to myself, then right ahead I spotted Alex swerving into the street I heard loud shots fired right behind me at the same time they where in hot pursuit i tell you, ng the car to a 180 and swinging the door wide open till it almost yanked off, bam! Id been hit again but this time I wasn't planning on a reintroduction to the floor, i managed to get in and ride shot gun as Alex put his foot down and burnt rubber, we escaped, I could feel my back repainting the leather seat while Alex raced for a safe haven calling out my name Micheal!!! Micheal!!! Stay with me brother, i told you that bitch was bad news, too late for regrets now. 

There I was floating in and out of consciousness with Alexs voice being my only anchor holding me afloat and keeping me away from drifting.

I heard the car stop It all happened fast, I was help out of my seat like an old man, all i could see was the back lights of the car as we zigzagged what I finally made out to be Alex's house...I fell into the sofa as He ran in to get his first aid box and alcohol to numb the pain for the bullet taking out ritual.

He pulled out two bullets from my back while I was face down screaming into the sofa...The pain, i bit down on the dirty towel that smelt like ass and sweat mashed up as a distraction. 

Suddenly we heard two cars pull up in the drive way while I was being patched up in His makeshift ER,

Immediately Alex turned off the light and helped me to the basement 

Heavy thuds hit the door, as we 

He

There