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RE: Can You Change A Negative Mindset?
Degrees help, but it's not everything. It's attitude and like you said the right mindset. Changing him will be hard and will take time, but the thing is you can only do so much. He needs to come to this realization himself. He seems to be well qualified without a degree and instead of sulking over not getting a job, he should keep on trying whilst working on something for himself or with someone else. You seem to have ideas and he knows how to program, so there could be opportunity there to collaborate on a project. It could be nothing (just a hobby), but at least that would keep him going. And you never know it could lead to something bigger. Stay optimistic! 😊
"the thing is you can only do so much. He needs to come to this realization himself. " <--- You're totally right!!! I was wondering "how do people come to this realization for themselves? And is there a way to indirectly facilitate it?"
Because I used to have the same mindset as him. But somewhere along the line it changed, and now my mindset is the exact opposite. It didn't TOTALLY come from myself, because I had people come into my life who influenced me.
Maybe I was just more open to hearing different opinions and realizing that maybe, just maybe, there was a better way than what I'd always known.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!!
This realization can come through many different sources....sometimes it is something tragic in their life that "jump start" their mindset. For a person we know, the realization was brief. He became lazy and wasn't trying hard enough to get a job after Uni, so his parents decided to cut him off financially and therefore he had to survive for himself. He was doing alright, but working night shifts in a retail store (not the dream job). It was quite harsh treatment from the parents, but one that would change someone's attitude. We found out in the end that one of the parent (the mother) couldn't see her child 'suffer', so she started sending him 'support' money. He went back to his old ways after that. This tactic of 'cutting off' worked, but at what price...he wasn't happy and the family relationship was damaged. We guess he was used to being spoilt and thought there would be an endless stream of money and no desire to get a job. It did take him two to three years of doing nothing to realize he had to do something. We have since heard he has a job now, but one to keep his day busy (yet a better job than the retail one). We wonder sometimes where it went wrong as we knew him before as the guy who wanted to make his own money. Maybe it was a realization that it's harder to get to the top these days and therefore the easy route is to live off mum and dad? Something else in his life affected this? We don't know.
Maybe your friend or relative needs to be surrounded by people you were surrounded by. A little push in the right direction doesn't hurt. :)
Happy to share our thoughts!