How does self shame affect us?
People, unlike animals, feel shame. Being ashamed is one of the hardest things to deal with. We all have it, even if we're not aware of it. Shame makes us think we're not good enough. We can feel the ground giving way. Why does this happen? What does it mean for us?
Shame in adults is hidden and hidden away. Men feel ashamed of their shame more than women do. We hide and try not to be seen. We want to hide the fact that we are not legitimate. We're not in love.
When we feel shame, we can't do anything, we're alone, and we might lose who we are. Alan Shore and John Bradshaw are two of the few books (see references) that talk about shame. After a few rounds of therapy, the shame of being yourself comes back.
In male subjects, the guilt of being themselves, including their sexuality and wants, is clear but well hidden. Many women think that guys talk about sex, but they don't. Not often.
Like guilt (I messed up, I "did" this job badly, etc.), shame is a part of who we are. Shame comes from inside, not from outside. Sometimes we feel "bad" inside.
Shame comes from a long way away. Always in childhood. To put it simply, our parents taught us the right things to say, do, and believe, and they did it by copying what their parents did. the best way We've been told to always try our best.
Good goals will lead to hell. Personal growth, and some experts say we should do better with this idea. We think none of us are perfect and still have a long way to go because of this.
So, since trees and nature are great, we shouldn't make a bird take a course to help it become better. Poor people do, though. We think inside that we're "bad people." It's true that we are guilty of being.
We don't show much emotion because we're afraid to be ourselves. It's not like we're living fully. This makes a "world" that hides who we really are and doesn't reflect our true wants.
Imagine a world where everyone did their best. To be clear, I'm not talking about "personal development," where the goal is to improve oneself. I'm talking about "personal stripping." Where the goal is to look good. Show who you are. Nothing extra.