Do You Live a Life of Wonder and Joy? You Should Start.
How many desires have you put off pursuing because they are too foreign?
I am always curious when our will power just seems to come up short. If there is something you truly want, then why are you not seeking it? I am sure there are all kinds of reasons, and some of them are very unique to who you are as a person, but I also believe that we can be our worst enemies. This is something that has frustrated me in my own life for years. I don't want our dreams to remain only fantasies. Let's take a dive.
Are you a recovering perfectionist like me?
Maybe you don't even realize that you hold onto these ideals of being perfect at something. I have spent countless hours stressing over perfection and feeling crushed by mistakes. Now hear me out, because I am not saying that we should not be detail oriented, thorough, and strive for performing as best as we can. Those should be goals. What I am talking about is that pestering voice that keeps you from doing the things you want to do. It keeps you from even trying. For Christ's sake, I nearly passed up an opportunity at ax throwing because I knew I would suck at it. Ax. Throwing. How silly it would have been to pass up such a fun activity.
Your perfectionism might come in the form of anxiety, stress, fear, or shame. Or it might be hidden even deeper. It might manifest in chronic procrastination. If you calculate the possibility of failure, then just stay home, right?
What keeps you from doing that thing you want to do?
I'm not asking what keeps you from being an all-star, or what keeps you from being independently wealthy or 8 feet tall. If you're anything like me, there are a number of things that you see other people doing and think how cool it would be to do that. Things that you are not inherently limited from trying. You see it, then you do nothing about it. Maybe it becomes your new favorite kind of Youtube.com (D.Tube, for you true believers) to watch. But you don't ever get out there and try.
You don't start fixing up that old car, motorcycle, or bicycle
You don't start hitting the tennis court, or basketball court, or golf course.
You don't start learning the basics of Python, Java, or other coding languages.
You don't start experimenting in the kitchen with new recipes.
You don't join the local improv group.
You don't dive into that woodworking project.
If any of those examples land in tender places, please know that I am also talking to myself. Each of the above examples are desires that I have put off pursuing. So why have I shelved all of these things that I genuinely want? Why do you do it?
"Well, it's not that easy bub."
Listen, I know a thing or two (or five) about legitimate excuses. I have five young kids. I am a full time attorney. I am involved with my church. And I am trying to write this frackin blog.
Odds are your life feels pretty full too. It might even actually be full. But is it worth it? Are the things that consume your time worth it? What value have you placed on your time? Better yet, what value have you placed on your desires? Your joy? Your sense of wonderment?
I understand the need for some seasons in life to be less balanced or even hectic. But if that season is not on a timeline, then it will likely bleed into the next and soon it becomes a way of life. Picking up a new hobby takes time. That won't make itself available. You have to do that.
There is no master plan that says it is better to be cold and calculated. Your desires deserve to be dusted off. You have the ability right inside of you to live a more fulfilling life. Start doing that thing that has been calling you for years. You won't regret it.
"Sure, but what if I suck at it?"
Well, you probably will. The only time I've swung a golf club was from atop an RV and after several beers. I should have no delusions about walking out onto the back-9 and hitting a single good shot. And there is absolutely nothing shameful about that. Why would I be good at it? I've never done it. But I could be good at it, if I committed to practicing hard and practicing smart.
And you could very comfortably be in the top 5-10% of nearly any activity in, say, 6 months or less. I don't mean necessarily the top 5-10% of people who practice that thing. I mean being better than 90%+ of the general population. That's pretty good if you ask me. But you'll never get there if you hold onto this ideal of perfectionism. Learning is fun, but being shitty at something can be really difficult to push through.
Don't let shame crush you opportunity to run after the skills, habits, and hobbies that you want for yourself. You need to sacrifice the goal of being perfect at the alter of your happiness. Trust me, it is not worth keeping. It may have served you well through a traumatic childhood, but that needs to be put to rest. This is your life and you are the cavalry. Don't expect someone else to hack your brain. It has to be you.
Until next time, be blessed.
Sam
Image Source: Swing, Pattern, RV
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You have touched on a very important subject here. A lot of the times we stop ourselves from doing what we want to do and there are a lot of reasons why. For me I can get too concerned about what other people will think. So when I feel like that I tell myself that as long as it makes me happy then it doesn't matter.