My 2018 MANTRA GOALS: I AM ENOUGH & Wake Up, Kick Ass, Repeat
Mantra #1: I AM ENOUGH
This coming year is going to be different, I can feel it. As I ramp up and rally towards the start of the new year, I’m pondering ways I can experience growth and improvement in 2018. I’ve been evaluating my strengths, weaknesses, and progress towards my goals. Goals are real, folks, I’m living proof. Goals help me organize where I want to focus my passion and productivity. They give me a purpose. Goals help me feel like I’m working towards something. We as humans have almost an innate need for a feeling of purpose. Sitting still for too long spinning my wheels gives me anxiety, and consequently another goal I am working on is meditation. I really struggle with the voices in my head that echo the abusive words I heard over and over in my past that have convinced me I’m never (good) enough.
I’m going to “love me anyway!” Let me explain. I find myself saying, “Love me anyway” or, It’s another “love me anyway” kind of day. #lovemeanyway If I’m asking others to love me anyway, I’m also going to ask that of myself. I’m going to love myself on the days when the dishes pile up and the voices in my head start telling me I’m worthless because my house isn’t spotless. When I feel tired, Im going to tell myself I’m enough, I’ve done enough, and allow myself to take a nap, even if for 20 minutes.
I am going to be good enough for myself. I’m going to be kinder to myself when I swimsuit shop. I’m going to be happy with my hair even though its not hollywood thick and starting to grey. I’m going to embrace the fine lines starting to reveal my age instead of comparing my current self to my high school photos. I will be happy about creative ideas and life experiences and when things don’t go well, I want to learn and grow and move forward without spinning my wheels with negative self-talk. I dont want to constantly critique myself.
Image by JealousyJane
Mantra #2: Wake Up, Kick Ass, Repeat
This mantra is one I will need to be reminded of frequently because I have fibromyalgia and C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), both of which cause me to feel very fatigued and I exist in a state of constant, chronic nerve pain. I know there will be days that simply getting out of bed and making my way to the couch will be as much ass-kicking as my body will allow, I know my fellow spoonies know what I’m talking about. On those days when I don't feel well and I am tempted to be too hard on myself, I will refer to Mantra # 1 and repeat.
In 2018, I will be dedicated to kicking ass in therapy! I have been working for 4 years in cognitive therapy and I have started psychopharmaceutical trials to find medication to help me emotionally stabilize and control the panic so I can begin to participate in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), which is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. ( EMDR Institute )
I also plan to kick ass with sticking with the life changing decisions I have made for my health in the last year, I plan to stay cigarette and alcohol free and maintain my keto way of life and I plan to check-in frequently with my body with walking and yoga.
Perhaps, In January, I will write more about these topics when we all need to feel more motivation.