Thank you. Each time I post something this personal it is so hard. Especially when I get some negative comments that trigger parts of my brain that feel blame. But I am not going to let that stop me. I feel it is very important to talk about it and empowering to do it publicly.

I definitely feel abandoned. It is hard because I have literally no family. Which really only bothers me on holidays while sitting at home on my PC, usually unable to afford food, watching people celebrate and feat and what not with their loved ones.

Next year I will be living with my close friend and he agreed to exchange homemade gifts, have me make a big meal, watch stupid Christmas movies, and have drinks together. So hopefully my holidays will get less depressing soon. :) (I have no blood family but I am building one)