Why Im Addicted to Saving

Ever since I can remember as a little boy, I was always saving my money for a rainy day and I never spent a cent of it. I can’t remember why either, I mean there were things I definitely wanted, but I never really purchased them. I was also obsessed with earning and saving more money, I was always so happy when I had a snow day, not because I had a day off, but because it meant I could shovel the driveways in my neighborhood for money. All the other kids were staying inside playing video games while I went to make money. This may not seem normal for most kids and at my age it probably wasn’t, but the satisfaction I would get from making a dollar was far greater than what I felt when I would stay inside. Even today my spending habits have not changed that much and I usually only buy something if I need it or if it is relatively inexpensive. For a long time I wondered why I acted this way, but now in retrospect I think I know why I was shaped into the person I was today.

No sense of financial security

My parents’ salaries combined would put them in the upper middle class level of families in the United States, but what they actually have in assets is near nothing. When I was a child I could always remember my parents fighting about money and often if I would ask them for $5 or $10 dollars to go bowling with friends, they would refuse. My mother was always telling me she had no money, but what she really meant was she had no money for me. She was willing to spend money on herself with expensive designer pocketbooks and shoes ect. I didn’t realize this at the time, but my parents were unintentionally making me feel like I had zero financial security, I didn’t know what really being poor was like, but to me, a little child it made me nervous. My mother would often make jokes like “Oh well be living on the street soon”, but to a little child I couldn’t tell she wasn’t serious.

I think kids react to a situation like this differently, but to me the solution I saw was to start saving everything I had. I started hoarding every bit of money so I would never have to feel like I would have to live on the street. Even though it was not going to happen I still developed a lot of anxiety during this time as a child, which is part of the reason I have a panic disorder to this day. Of course my mother never intended any of this to happen to me, I was just a young boy and my subconscious just processed the information the way it saw fit. In some ways however im glad that this happened to me because it but me on a path that if I continue to follow, will lead me to financial security.

Learning from my parent’s mistakes

When I started to get a little older, I became really interested in finance and developed a dream that one day if I invested all my money continuously and carefully, I could retire young and live off of a passive income. This is a dream I still hold to this day, although the time frame of realistic expectations has changed a bit. I was determined not to make the same financial mistakes my parents made and I started to read up on the stock market, personal finance and investing, even going as far as to sign up to various forums where I could talk with people who were living this way. I started to look at what my parents made and what they had to show for it and it baffled me. They overleveraged everything and paid back only the minimums. They let the interest pile up and paid off mortgages and loans with other credit cards. My parents were not from very financially secure households as children, so they never learned how to save or how to deal with money very well, a situation that im sure isn’t that far from many people in the world. Even though their incomes would go up, it wouldn’t make a difference because their loan costs would as well. The best statement I have heard in regards to loans was “taking out a loan is a future paycut to yourself”. This is something I always think about if I take a loan out and im always thinking about how fast I can pay it off.

It was at this point in my life where I made it my goal to never be living paycheck to paycheck or have to worry about monthly payments. I would live frugally and below my means so I could attain this. I never want to be afraid of losing my job or afraid that my mortgage might be overdrawn. I want enough of cushion that I can go to work and freely speak my mind without fear of getting fired, because even if I did I would have enough money to support myself. As put by John Goodman’s character in the remake of “The Gambler” I want “fuck you money”.

Some drawbacks to saving everything

It must be mentioned however that there are some drawbacks to saving everything and I am trying to become more comfortable with spending money because of them. When you save everything, you start to not go on life adventures because it costs too much money and you wonder on if you are missing out on these moments in life that will never come again. I can’t take my money to the grave and if I drop dead one day of a heart attack, all that saving was for nothing. I want to save enough for retirement, but I also don’t want to miss out on what life has to offer because I am being too frugal. There is definitely a balance between the two, that I will need to find out eventually, but as I still have college loans to pay off I am saving almost everything to knock them out.

Saving is like going to the gym, it’s not something you just do for a year or so, it’s a lifestyle change that can give you unimaginable financial freedom from many of lives unexpected worries and disasters. However it is important to remember you can’t take it to the grave with you when you’re gone.