My Most Shameful Subject and How I'm Turning It Around Part 2

I wanted to write a followup to part one just hours after I wrote it. I think shame held me back from stating how much lack I've really experienced in life. Times of eating potatoes for weeks and weeks, having literally a few dollars to last for three days, the shame of not being able to go out with my friends to eat and drink, being late on rent. I wanted to make sure that I hadn't painted a picture of a whining first world country white girl who wasn't willing to take action and was complaining about her parents buying her a car.

Writing part one really did liberate me from some of the deep shame.

I've been watching successful people for years now and trying to emulate their behavior. My friend @emancipatedhuman helped me with my success several years ago when I started blogging. I reached out to him and asked him for advice about how he was so successful with his facebook page. And he told me he liked my message and my writing. He made me an admin of his facebook page Emancipated Human, which has a massive following. It gave me a massive leg up. It's rare for beginning writers that they get an immediate audience like I did. But it wasn't long before I needed to take a step back and analyze my approach and my subject matter. I needed to step away from the Anarchist world before I even made any kind of solid footing. I've been watching @emancipatedhuman for years. He's the only person I know up close who's successful in writing, and networking, teaching self development, and acting successful.

Luis responded to part one with a list of what's necessary to be a successful person with words like hard work and discipline. Upon reading it I was filled with more shame and self doubt. He knows what he's talking about and I don't.

My Truth

And then I sat down on my yoga mat, and as per usual, my truth came flooding in. I was confident in my reply. My reply helped me to dig my feet in and proclaim with absolute certainty what I intend. I intend to get rich in a way that is healthy, sustainable, brings me joy, and helps others. I will not sacrifice. I will show the world that it can be done. And I will prove to myself that it can be done. I've never really felt that level of confidence and authority before. There was a resonance and a click that happened when I posted that reply - a timeline shift. I believed in myself, and I believed in my truth in a way that I hadn't before. My truth is truth, and it's right and it's valuable, and it can be done and it will be done.

Timeline Shift

I woke up the next morning, and the first voice I heard was, "Write down the dates you need money by and how much you need on those dates." I thought "Oh heeeeelllllll no! That's way too intimidating!" And then click ok I think I know why I don't have money. All in one moment I saw how pathetic and disempowered I was being. Not pathetic in a shameful way, but money had complete rule over me, and I was its total victim. And I made a decision. I would write down how much money I needed on what dates. Money wasn't going to scare me anymore. I'm going to take control.

And wouldn't you know - that list empowered me instead of disempowering me. I look at it and I stare it down. Of course I can do it. Why I believe I am so powerless I do not know. I have more tenacity than anyone I know, and when I decide to I make shit happen. I've hit every single date so far.

Source

Click click click. Things just keep clicking for me as I come into this energy of decisiveness.

2016 I made plenty of money. To me I felt rich. But I was ruled by my old paradigm that I was taught of sacrifice. And I always felt overwhelmed and like a chicken with my head cut off. I needed to go in the complete opposite direction for a while. 2017 had a lot of distractions from financial success for me such as my dad dying of a cardiac arrest for six minutes and coming back to life and my beloved grandma dying. I received prosperity in all the other departments of my life that I wasn't so resistant to. My relationships were so beautiful and blossoming, and I felt so well and at peace.

At the end of 2017 I just completely stopped. I haven't done that, well.... ever. I stopped for weeks. It's like some old things just had to die. I had to give up.

Image sources 3 and 4

Now for 2018 I see my path very clearly. Things are right here happening now for both my partner and me. We have so many logs on the fire. All I need to do is dedicate myself with clarity and execute. Be more organized and less lackadaisical. Lackadaisical was what I needed for a while. In life, the pendulum swings all the way to one side and then alllll the way over to the other before we find center and balance in something.

My friend Luis speaks with such confidence and authority. Everyone who's successful does. My response to his reply on part one was the first time I ever felt that same level of confidence and authority over a subject and my truth.

I'm a teacher and a healer to my core.

Life twisted me up a lot, and I had to unwind myself. I know a lot. I've been around the block in life. I know a ton about healing, and because of getting all twisted up and then clearing myself, I can help the shit out of people. That's what has always come naturally and brings me so much joy and sense of purpose. I'm going to help you unwind your mess so that you can become clear. And we're all going to get rich together because abundance is what we are and if you're living lack, then you're all tangled up and you're not living your truth.

Here's what I'm going to do.

I'm taking a different approach than most teachers. I'm going to share my experience as I go along, and I'm going to teach you what I've done and what I'm doing in a raw and vulnerable way as I'm going through it.

Source

I intend to show me, you, and the world that life doesn't have to be suffering. I intend to be completely abundant by simply being clear and healthy and sharing that with others. It's going to happen. I might still have a few bugs to work out. But since writing part one, I have to say, it's like it elevated me to a different level and clicks of understanding just started to happen. I saw the changes I needed to be, and I just did.

Money is something we don't talk about in American culture.

It's taboo to talk about how much we have in our bank accounts. It's rude to ask someone how much they paid for something. You must never ask someone their salary. Our monetary system is changing, and with it, I think so will all of this. I'm talking about the blockchain. Being in the $cyrpto world for just weeks has massively shifted my relationship with money. It's all going to change, and I think it's appropriate that I put all this out there now, because this paradigm is in the early stages of dying. There is a transfer of wealth happening. It's OUR time now. 2018 will change our circumstances greatly. The shame and dread around money is going to go out the door. With the birth of this new #crypto #blockchain world we're bringing forth, we can feel hope and exuberance and eagerness about money, and we can create a new world with it, and we can talk about it.

What do you feel when you look at these images?

Source

Source

Source Image 1

Image sources: 2 and 3

Litecoin ->

Ethereum ->

Bitcoin Cash ->