16 Days of Literature: One wholesale unit of Blood please

in #microfiction5 years ago (edited)

{Today I post, by technicality, multiple entries for the same contest hosted by @jayna which can be found here for people to see. I say "multiple" posts as-such since it doesn't explicitly state I need to make separate posts per entry nor that I am barred from doing so. In this post I used the prompt word "sale" in three differing forms: 50-word tasker, 100-word tasker and 250-word tasker. As such, I shall demarcate clearly with dashed lines, yet I present my main entry, a 250-word tasker, first. The rest is just added bonus which falls in the other categories. Regardless, each entry, even when one thinks each connects to the other entries, are "self-consistent." Thanks for reading this Public Safety Announcement... Today's music-aide: "Sie kommt die Treppe hoch" by Flesh.}

- One wholesale unit of Blood please -

The road sang the smooth-rolling tires which ceased as the tires screeched against it. Yet the road’s concern pushed aside, a sliding clunk noise announced the grand-opening of the truck’s content. As the driver-side door eked a harsh close, a cigarette slammed hard on the concrete road. Bob’s eyes welled up with what was present before it, but Bob’s voice-box took action as the driver reared to him.

"Carl."

"Yes Bob?"

"The truck is loaded with wholesale units of blood only, correct?"

"That was my job Bob, to acquire wholesale units."

"H-How?"

Warehouse gate doors chinked open, the concrete reverberating the march of workers. Bob’s legs, unnoticed in the periphery of Carl, slowly collapsed and Bob plainly sat. Carl’s hands gestured to offload, as per the usual. Yet Carl’s sixth sense went haywire and finally Carl saw why.

"To tell you the truth Bob, I got them all on sale as well."

"H-huh? Where exactly, Carl, does blood sell on sale now?"

"Oh, the local Walmart. They were selling excess wholesale units of blood. It was all organized, we tested them all out-"

"What was the sale price, Carl?"

"Buck on sale."

"One and only one United States Dollar, a fresh and perfectly minted dollar bill of which this greenback made in 2019 anno domini could buy one wholesale unit of blood?"

"Eyup. Anything else?- oh crap. Hey we need medics reporting to Loading Bay A. ASAP! Crap, Bob, why do you have a weak heart and still work here?"


--------------------------------------

- A hundred dollars off -

"So wait, Margaret, you are telling me that this went on sale?"

"Indeed, Fred, hundred dollars off. A nice sale, isn't it?"

Fred's hands picking up the object, Margaret's eyes became gleeful with what seemed like the same farcical scene once again. Fred's mind, however, was melting to puddles of ooze as his memory theatre failed to recall any point of time when a commodity so expensive dropped prices so steep on sale. Margaret's eyes seeing Fred's legs quivering, her hands reached out and managed to grasp him before he fall.

"That's why we leave the shopping to me, okay?~"


--------------------------------------

- Fifty sales -

"Fifty sales, not bad for the first hour. They’re documented?"

The record-keeping book slid across the work desk, the wood singing with joy each second of the slide. The manager's hands picking it up, her mind processed what her accountant written down.

"Sherry, these are big purchases... CEO on phone, now!"

---------------------------------


Two Things: Glad to find the time to make a post for this contest finally and also tomorrow is the last day of the 16 days of Literature. Woot!~ With that post I shall link all the other days of literature for all to see. Anyways, been great to cathartically write out, for every day, a piece of fiction. Anywho, I shall enjoy this break when I am done.

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Ahhh i love these! The structure, the way they kinda tie together, and the single story they can combine to paint <3
The 50 words and 100 words also tying the number into the story, had me puzzling on how you might have hidden 250 in the first one!

250:
This is a great little story, it's concise, and carries easily. You ease the reveal in slowly, so that instead of a wham-bam twist, its a slow build, where the reader wonders more and more. The real crux, the beauty in this one, is the unwritten, the space between the lines, and this is something I say to people from time to time, and can often mean that a story lacked conclusion, or something to give it a definitive edge, but that is not the case at all here, you have really nailed the snapshot, so as not to leave the reader cursing you for a cropped image, but wondering about the rest of the world, what has led to this state of affairs, where blood is so cheap, where did walmart get it, a lot of reflections on the value of life, the way its viewed as a commodity by some, and for something as life saving as blood to be sold at the supermarket. You could've used the tag speculative-fiction for this. The way that Bob is expecting the blood, clearly, he is waiting for it, but then, seeing it all there in front of him, and his reaction, as though he thought the would be fine, but seeing it all, the reality. There is a lot of philosophy in these 250 words, not written, but evoked <3

100:
on it's own - this is just a really sweet story, and painted in full color with your beautiful description

melting to puddles of ooze

there is again a wealth of implication, but a lot more of the familiar and domestic. Stand alone, these feel like an elderly couple, a well established relationship, grown with room for each other, and accommodating affection
but! If these stories are in the same world... and the items on sale are blood, so very cheap, it completely changes this so beautifully, what was a sweet story takes a wicked twist, as this woman is so blase about the cheap price of blood, while her husband balked at the world he now lives in. Also changes how the characters feel, suddenly they seem younger, and Fred's reaction becomes that to the wider world, what had seemed amusing, becomes thought provoking depending on the setting. Skill that is ;)

50:
on it's own - a tale of mystery and speculation! What are they selling, why have they had this rush, what is going on? with plenty of room for personal projection, i wonder, i would love to see what ten or fifteen different people thought was going on. Could it be money laundering - only on the books? Could it be fraudulent sales? or just a brilliant boom?
but connected. well it is just the perfect final bit here, the woman, making all these sales, the rate they are going out, confirming should the price of blood go up, is it really supposed to be this cheap, we are shifting a lot of it... getting more...

These three kinda come together to create a naturally feeling vampire world, without you ever saying it. Bob - the vampire with a conscious who orders the blood and feels bad about it when he sees how much arrives, Carl - the realist vampire, already adjusted to the new world and keen to find his place in the new supply chain, Fred - a relic from another age who finds the lack of value on life incomprehensible and the modern world beyond him, Margaret - a modern vampire all to used to the constantly changing world around her, having sheltered her husband (yep, they can be married, just decided :p) and finally Sherry - a remaining human, who really should be more concerned at the amount of blood they are selling!

UwU ~ Thanks for reading and thanks for philosophizing mój Ukochany! Indeed, I made it possible to see them all connected despite making it possible to read them alone (semi-self-consistency, where they can be stronger together and even more independent/individual as such with growing interdependency). Of course, the 250 may just be hidden to only the title and presupposed as the number of wholesale unit of bloods in the truck~

Indeed, I was aiming for a Speculative Fiction / SFF type of story in a still Capitalist World. Of course with the environment still continuing on without the two despite both participating in such. I’m glad yah seen what I jotted down here and the loss of temporality as NeoLiberalism comes crashing in to even the Unconscious notions of the individual actors that help create the environment all around them. Of course, I was shooting for a more warehouse-Hospital æsthetic but I did wanted to paint a Vampire undertone as yah mentioned later.

Hey~ Good yah kept in mind the semi-self-consistency and how all flow into each other while being independent (or interdependency of all of them in this post). Definitely when yah connect them altogether, everything gets repainted and looking like the emergency of another step in the NeoLiberal World we live in. Definitely showcasing the power of NeoLiberal atemporality.

Indeed, I am wondering what other people would say here since this is as atemporal as it gets despite being so anchored and being found in many people’s life. To go to the interdependency, it makes total sense for the connection and would paint something more awry and sinister than one could do admit.
Also, they are married and will watch it when available~

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I love your well-thought-out comment, @calluna!

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Almost forgot to comment here! Thanks so much for entering, @theironfelix. I love all of these. I think my favorite is the blood sale story. It is rather creepy and really funny! I also love this line in "Fifty Sales":

The record-keeping book slid across the work desk, the wood singing with joy each second of the slide.

Your writing style is really evolving. Well done!

UwU ~ Thanks for reading and thanks for the compliments! I've had fun typing and crafting all these entries, especially when I can squeeze lil' lines like that outta the blue.

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