An Introvert's + Empath's Guide To Thrive At Conferences + Networking (Te Amo, Anarchapulco!)
When I attended 2016's Anarchapulco, I had no idea it'd be such a pivotal event that I'd cash in all my chips (so to speak) AND STAY.
But that's what happened.
It should speak volumes for how I feel about the community of freedom-seekers that have gathered here. The conference last year, literally, disrupted my life. And I hope yours gets disrupted, too. Not, necessarily, to expatriate or renounce your current life (unless you want that). But I hope we all let more fear and falsity drop. That's the kind of disruption I hope for.
The electric, giddy-buzz you feel when connecting with SO MANY LIKE MINDS... after, possibly, months of feeling alone or isolated, is one-of-a-kind. Rare and uncommon. Enthralling and informing. Intensely enjoyable. Time, what time? The sense of it will become completely lost.
We will be learning, connecting and partying. These things will be at simultaneous all-time highs, all the time, because of the dynamic people coming together. Catalytic sparks will fly wherever we choose to huddle. So, it's best to pace for a marathon, rather than a sprint. This is especially true for introverts and empaths.
A Misconception Is Sometimes A Bigger Enemy To Truth, Than An Outright Lie
One popular cluster of misconceptions is that introverts don't like people, are socially unskilled and should try to be less withdrawn. Hopefully, these defining terms (derived from the creator of the terms themselves, Jung) will help clarify:
An INTROVERT is a person who restores and energizes themselves internally and alone.
An EXTROVERT is a person who restores and energizes themselves externally and with others.
There are bubbly and passionate introverts. And there are cautious and less expressive extroverts. The accurate definition has nothing to do with outer behavior or appearance. It is simply based on how you re-fuel. And there is nothing shameful, nor superior, about either way.
There is, however, a cultural bias that favors extroversion, because the Western world was built with very extroverted (yang) energy. Compare that to the introverted (yin) energy the Eastern world was built with.
Assertive and aggressive action organized North America. Development of one's interior life is gaining traction, but introversion is still largely, and mistakenly, considered a weakness to overcome. It's really just an innate Way of Being.
Like your earlobes. They are either attached to, or detached from, your jawline. It's an arbitrary Way of Being for your ears. Treat the intro/extro trait just as neutrally. You're neither better, nor worse, of a person for how you naturally tend to re-charge.
Highly social events -- even ones as great as Anarchapulco -- can still energetically challenge folks who are oriented toward (and enjoy!) contemplation and solitude. Over the course of several days we will, to varying degrees, transcend our solitary tendencies to look in the actual eyes of others. It will be fantastic. And fatiguing.
Can I Get A Side Of Quiet, With My Networking + Partying?
Of course you can! In fact, they pair quite nicely. Below are a few ideas about respecting your social rhythms, WHILE enjoying the dazzling company of others:
* Care for yourself with TIME-OUTS + NAPS
I believe if we took better care of our inner-toddler (lol), we'd be happier, and better-behaving adults. Know what pacifies you, and keep it at-hand (e.g. certain music/songs, essential oils, stones, crystals, squeeze-balls, herbal-love, etc.) When you get too filled with the fascinating stories of others, take a quick time-out to reconnect with your own story. Empaths, especially, can get deeply engrossed with others. This makes for deeper exchanges, just be sure to not lose your own footing.
* Care for yourself with MEANINGFUL NETWORKING GOALS
Thankfully, this isn't a crowd of small-talkers, but engaging in many conversations over a long span of time can get flustering and overwhelming. Remove the false burden from yourself of feeling like you have to be everywhere and, once there, be smart and hilarious at all times. Chances are you're not a performer, so don't perform. Be your natural self. If you feel awkward or shy -- even among your peeps -- know that you are not the only one. (Why do you think I'm writing this? To normalize the feelings quiet folks are usually/ironically, too quiet to say.) Respect your pace and preferences, by not comparing yourself to extroverts. Extroverts are energized by the very same things that deplete introverts, so it makes zero sense -- and is actually self-negating -- to try to socialize the way they do. Or attempt to "keep up" with them. Instead, when you are up for it, you might:
Focus on being helpful, always thinking of resources and contacts you can share with others.
Tell someone something you want... a connection or collaboration that moves both you and the other person forward somehow.
Expect the best stuff that comes forth, to be something you didn't see coming. Social serendipity is a magical thing, and happens a lot in gatherings like this one.
* Care for yourself with YOGA
Dr. Randy Edwards is offering beach vinyasa flow yoga classes! Get the details HERE.
* Care for yourself with ENERGIZING FOOD
Gustavo, Amparo, Kenny and the local community sprang open a temporary, bitcoin-accepting Verde Vegan location right outside our conference area.
* Care for yourself with CREATIVITY
Starr O'Hara is guiding a unique creative experience in her Anarchartistry Workshop on March 2nd.
* Care for yourself with TIME IN NATURE
It's been shown that most modern folks spend nearly all of their time in artificial (indoor) environments. Generally going from home, to a vehicle, to an office, to a mall, to home. Repeat.
Even if you're sensitive to heat or sun (or find it unpleasant), then get some moonlight and night air. Just be sure to not spend all your time inside. Beauty regenerates. Our facilities are beautiful... and man-made. Beauty gets its source from nature. So go direct, and re-fuel quickly and cleanly.
* IN A NUT-SHELL
Monitor your personal energy the same way you would monitor your petro-based fuel on a long roadtrip. No need to judge the gas tank, or wish it was on the other side. Just keep it full, SO THAT you can enjoy the entirety of this incredible anarcho-journey together. I'm so happy it's finally begun, and I can't wait to connect with you.
Great article Erika! I can relate on all levels!
One point I would add: Don't feel obligated to attend all or any of the conference, even if you've paid for the ticket. Give yourself permission to sleep in or skip out early if you feel like you would rather be somewhere else or resting.
I ended up pretty sick at the 2015 event so I missed most of the weekend. But one of the best days of my life was 2 days after when 8 or so of us decided to split the cost to rent a boat for the day.
It was a remarkable experience! No need to "get your money's worth" by cramming in every portion of the event.
See you tomorrow!
Oooh, that is good @layl! THANKS. Hasta manana :-)
really good article, gonna take it to heart over the next few days. Are you at anarchapulco 2017? Let's meet up!
great article :)