I can relate to this with everything in my breath and body. But I was also assessed an Aspie as an adult and by then knew my triggers and how to avoid them. I don't know if this will help, but the next time you feel that overwhelmed sensation starting to move in, excuse yourself from the noise as soon as possible. Find a quiet place. Hum, count, knit or play mindless games (solitaire, Candy crush...LOL). NEVER try to go to bed when you're still feeling the "buzz". Invest in some noise reducing ear plugs. If you don't have them, stuff some napkins in your ears. I firmly believe the decibel level "shakes" our brains. And I am also grateful on your behalf that you have a wonderful partner.