I know what your talking about, and honestly I struggled for a while trying to figure out if I or they were the one being narcissistic and in the end I can tell you what I know for a fact is that I did not have the perspective to make that assessment of anyone else but myself. I think we all go through shit and at some point we start believing that the things we are feeling or going through are our own fault. If I was a "victim" it was because I didn't know my own self well enough to have been in that situation. I'm not justifying the "emotional abuse," because trust me I have dealt with emotional manipulation and abuse my entire life, but what I'm saying is that if I had a high enough self worth and respected myself enough to remove myself from any situation that I felt was damaging me, then I wouldn't have been in it in the first place. For all I know, I was the only toxic person involved. It isn't for me to judge anyone else on how they respond or cope with their past. If I love them, then I love them completely, just like I do with everyone now, and any complications that come with that are either me allowing them or not having the will power to say no. I now know how to remove myself from situations I don't find beneficial to my own mental health and well being.