Click of automatic understanding x

I have a connective tissue disorder. I thought diagnosis would bring clarity about care, treatment and management.
But it just gave me isolation and increased ignorance and intolerance from those who are supposed to deliver care.
I am scared to go to hospital too. I try to stay home and treat myself. Sometimes I don't know how to decide. Go or not go feels scary.
I wish I could write more right now, but I am limited. Your posts clicked in every way. I don't know how I manufacture hope everyday to continue to endure a system that sees people with intractable pain as chronic cretin.