Happy Wife, Happy Life.

in #marriage26 days ago

My Girl. (photo credit, @corinnestokes)

Next month I’ll have been married for 16 years. During that time, I’ve found my role as a husband and father is in many ways about pleasing my wife. That doesn’t mean I’m a doormat or that I go along with irrationality. It means I’m a steward for our relationship, leading it, protecting it, working for it and ensuring it creates value for our family. My most intimate partnership impacts how I think about and approach every other relationship and partnership in my life including family, friends, and business. Do I give people time and attention? Do I respect their efforts, skills, and responsibilities? Do I cherish them?

The phrase I’ve tried to live by which has served me well is simply this:

Happy wife, happy life.

When my wife knows she is loved, cherished, respected, and ultimately the most important relationship and connection in my life, she operates in her strength and supports me as I support the family. There are certainly times I’m called to lead, even if it may seem a bit scary or uncertain for her, but that’s why knowing her is so important. Her ultimate happiness includes bringing new ideas and experiences (like living in Puerto Rico) which will benefit her and respecting her grounded concerns along the way.

Husbands, if you’re floating through life with your spouse and a little off balance, consider your place. How are you cherishing your wife in a way that makes her happy? How does that bring joy to your own life? How does it impact your other relationships?

If curious, here’s how our marriage got started: My Engagement Story, Almost 13 Years Ago, as Told by @corinnestokes


Luke Stokes is the Managing Director for the Foundation for Interwallet Operability as well as the Interim Executive Director for the EOS Foundation. He's passionate about voluntary systems of governance and has been involved in bitcoin since early 2013. He's been a witness for the Steem blockchain since early 2018 and a custodian for eosDAC, a community-owned EOSIO Block Producer and DAC Enabler, since its inception. With a computer science degree from UPENN, he built, bootstrapped and co-founded the shopping cart software company FoxyCart over a ten year period and is now focused on blockchain technology as a means to create a world we all want to live in. He currently lives in Puerto Rico with his wife and three children and enjoys discussing everything from philosophy, to consciousness, to voluntaryism, to love and awakening. lukestokes.info UnderstandingBlockchainFreedom.com fio.foundation eosdac.io

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What a beautiful post! I hope MANY MEN - both husbands and partners read this... because they NEED to!

Thank you, Jaynie. This story discusses a husband/wife dynamic, but it certainly applies to all intimate, committed relationships in many forms. We all want to be loved. We all want to give love. Our ego and our selfishness just get in the way sometimes.

My pleasure :) Yes, ego has a terrible habit of doing that - and it can really wreck things.

I somehow feel/relate to everything Luke said and feels (from what I interpret 😅 ). I have around the same time of relationship too... =) 15 years... damn... Just had to count! LOL

Priceless the thinks we humans learn with life. Indeed life takes a completely different purpose when we look at relations. Just like what we are all doing "somehow" here on STEEM.

So true hey!

And it is wonderful to hear another instance like his! They are few and far between these days.

As someone who is only approaching their one year wedding anniversary (and 4 year relationship-iversary) I appreciate this valuable advice!

I wish you and yours nothing but happiness man. I look forward to marrying my girlfriend at some point.

Thanks Andrew. You guys will do awesomely well, I'm sure. Things get really exciting when you throw kids into the mix! hahah.

Thanks buddy.

Good message, Luke, and happy bday to the missus :)

I’ve been married (to the cheery gal you met at Bitcoin conference) for 12 years and learning, slowly, the lesson you share here —- surrendering my (big) ego & cherishing my sweet life partner <3

Wishing you and family continued happiness!

I spend a lot of time with my coursemates that are young married men like you guys and it seems that irrespective of culture and location, this is a universal rule: happy wife, happy life.

Congrats on 12 years!

Thank you so much for your well wishes. It's hard stuff, but it's worth it. So worth it.

Thank you for this valuable advice Luke,I wish you many more years of happiness in your family

Thank you so much. :)

Wise words!

Happy anniversary next month! I wish you many many more years and wonderful adventures together.

Oh man, your advice comes too late :-), i broke up with my wife 6 weeks ago after 18 years together. However, i lost love and respect and to be truthful about that is also important

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I'm so sorry to hear that. Without love and respect, it's just painful to continue, and I get that. It takes all sides participating for it to work out, and it's certainly not easy. I'm sorry for any pain or frustration the separation may cause. Thank you for commenting and please, if you would, share whatever advice and input you have for the rest of us. I hope to learn from as many people as possible to maintain the good things I have going.

Yay mate! =) there you go... splash splash... proud love and relationship influence.

Still, life keeps like this...

🎢🎢 and then < something >.... and then...🎢🎢 and then < something >... and then ... 🎢🎢 LOL It's fun!

A beautiful post and wise words, Luke!

I couldn't agree more... my wife and I were friends as kids; lived separate lives, then reconnected and realized we belonged together in 2003... and I live by much the same principles. An important thing for us to remember is to always be there, while not losing ourselves (as individuals) in the process.

Happy anniversary... next month!