Husband and wife have no overnight feud, and quarrels must be based

Many people believe that there is no quarrel in a strong marriage and a loving couple. In fact, "conflict-free marriage" is just a fantasy. Some couples may be very gentle and coordinated in front of outsiders, but privately, they will inevitably have major conflicts over uncompromising issues.

Some people think that proper quarrel between husband and wife can make the relationship sweeter. However, endless quarrels will only make the family atmosphere increasingly tense, and the relationship between the two people will also fall into the quagmire. Indeed, quarrels are inevitable, but we also have to quarrel in a measured and principled manner. The purpose of quarrels is to relax pressure, communicate emotions, and think calmly, rather than becoming more and more fierce, or from hot war to cold war, back to hot war, endless only.

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• Clarify the purpose of the quarrel: either to achieve coordination of something, or a way of communication, or to understand the other person's thoughts. In short, the purpose of quarrels is never to hurt each other or insult each other, let alone destroy family unity, and make the relationship between each other more tense. No one decides to hurt each other or divorce at the beginning of the quarrel, so the result of the quarrel is often in the quarrel. Caused by our unrestrained harm to each other. Therefore, if you want to control the quarrel within a certain range, you must abide by some rules, so that you may not hurt the other party and cause irreparable results. In this proposal, couples may wish to formulate a couple's quarrel rules, quarrel tacitly, only the more quarrelsome and sweeter in the marriage, the stronger the relationship the stronger the quarrel.

• How ​​noisy is it: You must stop until you click. As his close lover, you must know what he is most sensitive to, what shortcomings he most hates when others laugh at him, what people and things he cares most about, his psychological endurance, and where his limits are. After you understand this, you should try to avoid hurting his feelings during the quarrel, and stop arguing to a certain extent. Don't add fuel to the fire and let each other calm down and think.

• When is it noisy: Of course, it's best during the day. It will affect each other's sleep and neighbors' rest at night. Some people advocate that quarrels are not appropriate before and after sex, so they agree not to bring quarrels to bed. Of course, some people think that controversial and disagreement issues should be brought to the bedroom to resolve, because language negotiation is not possible, but physical actions can be used to discuss. This also depends on individual circumstances. If both parties can accept it, it may be used as an unconventional but effective means of forcing the other party to compromise.

• Noisy in front of someone: It is recommended to noisy when there are only two people alone. A man is a kind of face-loving animal. If his wife quarrels with him in front of others, it often prevents him from coming to power and hurts his self-esteem. It is best to only have two people when arguing, especially not in front of parents and children, otherwise it will affect their emotions. When parents and children kindly persuade them, it may affect the innocent.

• Language to avoid in quarrels: Don’t say anything that does not leave room, such as "No matter whether you agree or not, I will do it"; don’t humiliate the other person’s parents and respected people; don’t humiliate the other person Physical or psychological defects; avoid swearing words.

• Behavior to avoid in quarrel: Don’t escalate from quarrel to fight. This is all for the sake of women. Although your nails are very long and your heels are high and hard, your strength is too small. There are only a few fixed tricks, not the opponent of men at all. If the quarrel has inevitably risen to a fight, it is best not to scratch your face, and not to attack a vulnerable place.

• How to deal with after a quarrel: It is best for women not to threaten them with "running away from home" or "divorce", knowing that the purpose of the quarrel is never to divorce but to hope that the other party will compromise and live more harmoniously together. But if a woman asks for a divorce, it is best for a man to take it seriously and regret it immediately. Don't say "Then I will draft a divorce agreement now", otherwise it will not end. After the quarrel, it is best for a man to seek peace first. If a woman notices the peace signal sent by a man, it is best to go down the steps and not be persevering. Have the ability to understand and make good signals. For example, a man puts a teacup heavily on the table. Don’t understand that he is angry, but better understand that he wants you to pour him water; the man starts cleaning your broken cups and saucers. It shows that his anger has disappeared, and he can start crying at this time, and give him a chance to make peace. After all, it is not easy for a man to pull down and say "My wife, don't be angry". Give him an excuse to regret.

In short, the quarrel between husband and wife should be level and principled. It is best to increase the relationship and play a role in flirting. Don't affect your feelings and life because of a quarrel. This is the biggest principle that should be followed in a quarrel.