How counseling saved our 14-year marriage and our family

in #marriage4 years ago (edited)

When you have been married for over 14 years like my husband and I have, chances are your relationship is not as focused to just the two of you anymore like how it used to be when you first started going out. Your priorities have certainly changed, and you have a lot more on your plate: bills, parenting, bills, conflict with in-laws, bills, and, most common to us Filipinos: (extended) family obligations, and yes, probably more bills. With all that, eventually your plate becomes full and that's when you start having marital problems.

We recently decided to seek counseling when it became too obvious that our problem wasn't something we could fix on our own anymore. We needed help.

For years, my husband would be the one to suggest counseling when marital issues come up and I'd say no because I'm normally a private person (things have obviously changed since I can now blog about stuff like this LOL). This time around, I was the one who suggested counseling - much to his surprise. But I felt that we owe it to our kids and to ourselves to give this marriage our best shot. Or just do the counseling for closure's sake, if nothing else.

And we're both very glad we did. I know counseling isn't for everyone but for my husband and I, it brought us back together. We both got to express our frustrations and expectations with each other that we otherwise would've kept bottled up for fear that it would offend or hurt the other's feelings.

We definitely appreciate each other more now and we are back to becoming each other's best friend. We realized we are still very much in love and we also have 2 amazing kids who both mean the world to us. What more could we ask for, really?

If your marriage or relationship are going through a rough patch, and you just seem to be at a stalemate, give counseling a try. Getting a third-party's perspective will make it easier for you to understand each other more. Or at least it helped us.

And remember to live your life to the fullest and regret nothing. Unless you did something illegal or morally unacceptable, then you should regret that shit but otherwise, just carry on and just enjoy life ♡♡♡

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It's great to hear that your marriage is back on track after a rough patch. Marriage is hard, but totally worth it all. You two look so happy together in that picture... and that food!!!!

Thanks for the upvote, resteem and the love ♡♡

aww. Im so happy to both of you and your kids. You have a great family. Best of luck and best wishes 😊

~haley

Thanks, Haley! ♡♡

Congatulations on re-kindling the spark on your relationship. Communication is really key. Now, keep that fire burnin'! ❤

Thanks @Arrliinn! Exactly. 😍

It was so great to meet you @jazzybells

Thank you abi! Ditto! And congrats on the successful event last night. Great job to all the organizers!

Thanks for being the early birds. Dm me your bitshares wallet name here ok?
Post your pics!I will resteem.

Those bills! Lol.

Seriously, Im glad that you two sorted it out!

Stay strong! Merong poreber guys!:)

I know right??? LOL Thanks for reading! Probably one of the biggest deciding factors for our move back to the Philippines is because things are much cheaper and affordable. 😊 #MayPoreber

Relationship goals! hahaha...

Hahaha. Far from it. Thnks for the comment though @keshawn... bisag bugal-bugal! :P

hahaha... ayaw'g saba diha... for the char lang gud.. :P

so so happy for both of you! your post made me smile 😊 Also real nice to have shared the table with the early birds in our steemfest.

Thank you @descterity! It was so nice meeting and chatting with you and and your son at the steemfest!

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you're making steemit a great community with your content jazzybells! keep it up!

That's such a nice thing to say! I appreciate it :)

Hi Jazzybells,
I am an American ,married to a Filipina for 13 years past June(Philippine independence day)I understand the family part,and have done my Best to help members of the family. I understood these things going in and have no complaints. The culture is wonderful,and I eat some(but not all) of the foods she eats.We have 2 beautiful children(5 & 9,boy and girl). I am glad you two worked it out. I wouldn't give up on my Marites for the world!

Hi @steamrolla! Thanks for taking the time to read my post and commenting! You sound like a very devoted hubby! <3 Marites is very lucky :) We actually just made 14 years last June also (18th). Actually the family part was really a non-issue for us, I was merely citing possible contributing factors to the demise of some marraiges. Our kids are 12 and 8 (photos above are from years ago.. hehe) Good luck to you and Marites! Does she also have a steemit acct?

I am a firm believer in counseling and therapy...not drugs lol ...I'm very happy to hear for your whole family's sake that you two found your way back to each other again :) :) upvoted and following :) :) Kayleigh

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Great post, I am so glad you two are back to being best friends and partners in marriage. Followed you from #minnowsfaucet.

As Always an awesome post from you, Appreciated! Maybe checkout my blog ??

Hi @ronaldmcatee. I appreciate it :) Following you now :)

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hi @jazzybells Im so glad that you guys are all ok now and Im so happy that you both are now my good friends I guess everything that happends has a good reasons and has a good results .Keep your marriage strong and remain sweet to each other through good times and bad times :)