FILLED BUT LACKING,

Chi chi!!,
I heard my mum calling, but I didn't want to answer, was pretending to be asleep, but no I wasn't, thought of the great day keeps running through my mind, just finished having a meeting with the umu ada of the community, was very tired, just wanted to lay down on my soft companion and let out the tears welling in the cage of my eyes.

My name is chimamanda, I'm the only daughter of my family, having two elder brothers and one younger brother. My dad is a civil servant, and my mom a business woman. For eight months we have been depending solely on mum's earnings,
like she's being the breadwinner, that wasn't funny at all, by that time I was in 200level, in the university of Lagos, studying medicine. Due to dad's loss of job, schooling was difficult, mom couldn't bear the load of catering for everyone alone. Thanks to God, just last six months dad started working as a driver to one rich man, and things have pretty been fine financially since then.

Just last month dad was ill and his boss decided to pay a visit, I had left earlier to meet up with Ayo my fiance, our relationship was opened to both families, and was accepted tho Ayo was a Yoruba guy and I an Igbo girl. Ayo had just graduated from school early that year, and will soon be leaving for his NYSC the next month.
Getting back home that day to meet the whole family in the living room with a strange man who I guess must be my dad's boss, good evening everybody I said, good evening beautiful, the strange man with his pot belle, and cracked voice said, with a typical Igbo ascent, not nice at all, I thought to myself, so I walked to my room.

Chi baby!!
I heard my mum calling few minutes after the departure of the strange man, Yes mummy, I answered from my room. The door opened and my mum walked in, in a joyful but rather strange manner, I had tried to read her mind, and tell it to her, but I couldn't, what's the matter I asked, having a confused look, with my hands akimbo I looked at her quite lost, she sat down and gestured me to do same.

I can't believe mom herself had said those words to me and in the manner she did, thinking about her words over and over again, I wonder what to do, I wonder what they take me for, mom said to me in a happy mood, you could see the gladness in her heart through her words, That chief has decided to marry you! Mummy !!!! I shouted in disbelieve, are you telling me that the old man who just left here is interested in me? I asked with my voice a bit loud, don't shout she said, this time around she was furious, Are you not old enough to vet married? Is he not man enough to take care of you? With all the money he has showered on us, will it be wrong to have a very rich in-law? I stood with my mouth and eyes wide opened and my ears too standing tall, I needed to be sure my mum who has always said I should marry for love not money was the person saying all of this. No mama, over my dead body I said,
Mechi onu gi, ekwukwala she said in Ibo , Let's talk tomorrow morning. She finally said and walked out. So there I was on my bed feeding my companion with tears, how can I get married to that old chief? What about Ayo? What will my friends say? How will I cope, having all the money that doesn't give happiness?

"Mma, my daughter, the worst thing I will do is allow you suffer twice, I know I and your father have not been able to provide for you all you have ever wanted, and that was because we were never bouyant enough, but this is an opportunity to make yourself and your family happy, I know you love Ayo, but Ayo is just a fresh graduate who knows when he will start seeing #5 of his own, he may even leave you aside, love without money to fuel the relationship will not work, and beside Ayo is a Yoruba boy, and God forbid me watch you my only daughter marry a Yoruba man, my dear, a woman don't wait for a man, rather a man does the waiting, Mma my daughter yield to my advise, as for love, you will fall in love with him later in the marriage, please my daughter make us proud,have we not tried on our own just for this day? Please nwa m, biko ooo"

Those words couldn't skip my thought for a second no matter how I try,

Chi chi ooo,
I heard her calling even louder this time around, so I stood up, washed and dried my face, and went to the direction I heard her voice. Come sit her she gestured, look at all the lace, the beads, shoes, purses, bags, money that the chief has brought just for you his beautiful bride,
Are they not nice?, yes mommy they are,
You know, tomorrow is your special day, ubochi gi she translated to IBO, and it is going to shake this community, what a shallow mind my mom has got, I thought to myself, so my dear get ready, as you can see preparation are already on, ga kwado onwe gi ofuma.

So by tomorrow I will be getting married to a rich, fat toad in my description, what about Ayo? How do I tell him it's over? What will he do when he gets to hear? Will he be able to bear the loss?
After the wedding what next?

I lack words to explain how I feel inside of me, nobody cares, it's been five years of marriage, and all I can't wait for, is to be single again .........
I have all the money, but lack all the virtues of a happy home...
All the pictures are mine