Why I am Highly Functional by Lily DaVine

in #marijuana8 years ago (edited)

        Many people, including me before I started smoking have a perception of stoners and what kind of people they are.  For me, my suspicions were confirmed as many of the stoners I knew were complete idiots. The adult stoners had nothing to show for themselves and often blamed their lack of success on their cannabis use, if for no other reason than the high cost to support their habit. The young stoners I knew had no money or anything to show for themselves either, as they cared only about getting high and nothing else. I use the word habit as that is the only sort of dependency you can have with cannabis, as it is not physically addictive in any way.  I was under the impression that cannabis didn't have real medical value, that it was just a loophole stoners were using to get weed legalized.  I tried marijuana long before I became a stoner, staying away from it for fear that I might turn into one of the many mindless zombies I knew.   I remember saying one of the very first times I smoked "I could get used to this, and that scares me."  That had everything to do with my perception of its true effects.  Even once I started smoking every day, I still held the belief that I couldn't get anything productive done while high.  In the last five years, I've come full circle and cannabis is an important tool in my day to day life. 

I've encountered two types of stoners in the last five years.  The ones who drop out and the ones who drop in.  What I mean by drop is that some people use cannabis as a means to get out of their heads, lose control, be lazy.  It's their time to "Relax" and drop out of their boring life.   It's generally used in a party setting for these people, as having fun is the end goal of the high.  Others use it to tune in, using it as a life enhancement while working hard to achieve their goals.

When I became a stoner, that is a daily habitual user of cannabis, I was the drop out stoner.  I would get high and drive around, or browse the internet(think memes and cat pictures) or eat until I couldn't move.  The idea was to take a break from my life, something that was extremely stressful and structured due to school.  I was going through a tough time emotionally and it was my way of handling it, sort of like an anti-depressant.  I'd generally wait to smoke until the evening, when I had finished everything "productive" I had intended to complete that day.  Then I'd get stoned, eat a bunch, turn on Netflix and fall asleep.  Even though I've always been a voracious reader, I reported having difficulty focusing on reading while high, so I said I couldn't do schoolwork high as a result.  From what I can tell, most of what I was reading was shit, and that was my stoned brain's way of telling me so. It was either crappy fiction or textbooks, enough to numb any creative mind.  

After awhile,  I began to meet certain people who were a different breed of stoner, the drop in stoner. These are the people that smoke from sunup to sundown, as a part of their daily rituals, much like many consume coffee or nicotine.  For many, it's a way to center themselves before they begin the tasks at hand.  I've found now that many of the most physically demanding jobs, such as stage handing(building the stages for concerts and events) is full of people who get stoned and get the job done.  It generally puts you in a happy creative mindset, something these people utilize to drive them to work harder despite crappy circumstances, such as pain or lack of money.  The mental effects are looked at as features, not as things holding them back from being "productive".   These people too use it as a mean to relax, but its more to be relaxed while doing what you like, not a chill out on the couch sort of relaxation time.

The first stoner I remember meeting of this variety was John.  I remember arguing with him when we first started dating that I couldn't get anything done high, certainly not homework.  I reported that I couldn't focus, as my mind was always trying to distract me to do different things, generally things I considered non-productive.  As I was a completely non-productive person at the time, this held true. I had no skills or hobbies to speak of at the time, which made focusing on any one thing difficult for me.  When I was high and tried to do homework, it generally didn't go well.  This discouraged me as I felt school was my ticket to success.  From what I can tell, the pot was just bringing up fears I already had in regards to school, that I was wasting my time for a maybe and that I wasn't actually learning what I intended.  As someone thoroughly brainwashed in regards to school, I struggled with these feelings as I really didn't want to believe me that everything everyone tried to convince me about school was wrong.  It meant I'd have to face that I've wasted over 10 years of effort on something useless, when I could have spent my time building up skills that I could use to be successful later on.  

After I broke my jaw, I fell into more of the second path of smoking.  For me at that point it was a necessity, as I was using it not only for the mental effects but for the extreme pain I was dealing with as well.  I was refusing the opiate based pain medications at the time, as they weren't really helping anyway and had a high risk of physical dependency. It became clear that if I intended to stay in school, I was going to have to learn to do things while stoned.  Eventually, school tasks got easier and I passed that semester with flying colors, despite what I had told myself I was capable of before.  From that point on, I never looked back as far as smoking was concerned, as I realize my previous hangup had everything to do with me, and nothing to do with the pot.  I stopped using it as an excuse not to get anything done, and in turn pot stopped being the excuse.   Instead I used it as a reminder that I was capable of anything I put a bit of effort in, which is a much more empowering mindset to exist in.

It wasn't long after making this transition that I began to see just how useless school was in my life.  I went to college with the promise that it'd be different, the content, the teachers, everything.  I knew I wasn't learning anything in public school, but I was convinced that if I went to college, things would be different, especially considering the fact that I was paying so much for it.  When I got there, I quickly realized that I was wrong, and realistically spent a year trying to convince myself otherwise.  Deep down I recognized I had no other skills or interests other than school, and I honestly didn't know what I was going to do with myself if I quit.

In this time I started exploring hobbies.  I dabbled in gardening, and found I liked it a lot more than pursuing a botany major as I was, where I actually hadn't even learned anything about plants yet.  I got a glassblowing internship locally, and instantly regretted not taking advantage of my college's Glassblowing program.  At this point, other than not dropping out sooner or not going, my biggest regret with college is not pursuing glassblowing, as it was one of the few useful majors they offered with any practical value for me.  I would have had the opportunity to learn traditional glassblowing using their expensive equiptment, and could have sold my projects for cash as someone I knew was doing.  I also started to learn how to cook, something I also wasn't learning in school.  What I learned in all of this dabbling, is that school was cutting into my time while it wasn't providing me what I needed it to.  I no longer believed it was my ticket to success and it was showing with the amount of effort I put into other things compared to school.  It became clear that if I intended to pursue anything useful, I was going to have to quit school.  I left school not because I couldn't do it, as I left in good standing with the honors college, but because I recognized it was standing in the way of what I wanted out of life.

I finally made the decision to drop out, and only then did I really start to gain any traction in any of the skills I was dabbling in.  I actually didn't do much of anything for months, a phenomenon many unschoolers face when they drop out.  I realized in this time that school had really broken my natural mechanism for learning and my drive to learn as well.  It convinced me that I couldn't teach myself anything, only teachers could do that.  It rang true for many things throughout my life that I tried teaching myself, playing the guitar just being one of them.  With everything I tried to teach myself, I would flourish, then plateau as I was not well versed in teaching myself anything. This is something I still struggle with, and actually happens to be one of my greatest conflict points with John.  He rebelled against schooling and has taught himself just about every skill he has.  He's never been able to identify with my side of things, as he's never experienced it.  This is something I envy him for, as it takes him a fraction of the time to learn something new as it takes me to learn the same thing.  He spent his childhood asking questions and exploring his world, wheras I spent my childhood doing homework and striving to be a good student.   

I'll say that I was not in any way productive until I started using pot as a tool, not as a means to check out.  Once I saw it's usefulness in all aspects of life, I began to utilize it to it's fullest extent.  It made the fact that I felt incredibly behind in life a bit less hard, as it allowed me to have understanding for where I was coming from.  It made anything physical a lot more fun, as it removed tension and pain that would otherwise hold me back.  I went from not being able to read when stoned, to reading the book Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand while completely under the influence.  I am not sure I would have stuck with it, as it was not my usual subject matter, without pot.  It allows me to consider all points of view, especially those I am not familiar with.  

I've spent the last four years, exploring myself and my capabilities with pot as my principal tool.  I've managed things I've previously thought were impossible for me. I can do everything from chop firewood to cook to farm now, all things I had no experience with before.  I went from complaining about walking a short distance to John's house, to being able to walk up and down a mountain for groceries(as I did yesterday, out of potatoes with the only open market a half mile down my hill).  I found that just about everything I've said I can't do, is just something I have little experience in, and its something I could do if I worked on gaining experience with it.  

At some point in the last few years, John came up with the phrase "Highly Functional" to describe himself and those like him, who use pot as a tool for productivity.  It implies that we are both high, and functional which is unlike what most people, including myself for a time, believe. It was something we eventually intended to use as a brand and it's what we've ended up naming our glassblowing company, Highly Functional Glass. I will say that while glassblowing is a somewhat dangerous job, I much prefer to do it stoned as I am able to handle any mistakes I make much easier, ending in a finished piece instead of a damn near useless blob of glass.  When I make a mistake when blowing while highly functional, I slow down and consider how to fix it to finish the piece.  When I'm not highly functional, I have a tendency to put it down to deal with another day, leaving yet another unfinished piece.

Since being in Mexico, we have had a principal part in changing the perception of one of our community members.  Being an older gentleman, he had experiences with his sons using cannabis in their youth and took issue with it from my understanding.  He too was under the impression that there is nothing good to cannabis and that it was responsible for a lot of dumb people out there. 

In his time interacting with us, he was somewhat forced to see the alternative.  Here we were, two highly functional people who consumed copious amounts of cannabis, with no obvious impairment to our capabilities.  We are so highly functional, that the government took issue with us and charged us with several felonies for possessing things all having to do with our highly functional lifestyle.  I believe the only true negative I've experienced in my time as a highly functional person is the legal repercussions I've faced as a result.  

John and I are both heavy users, to the point where when I told my probation officer how much I had used in the weeks in arrest, she in shock asked me "And you're not dead?!"  Realistically those were some of the best weeks of my life, until it was ended by that arrest.  I was incredibly optimistic and things were finally starting to go well for us financially, we also had a steady supply of awesome dabs. I remember when I was in jail, some of the people I was in there with were using me as a sort of case study, citing "If anyone's going to have a physical addiction and go through physical withdrawal, it's you considering how much you consume."  They all later agreed that cannabis is indeed non-addictive, as I had no symptoms of withdrawal.  I say this to give an idea of how much cannabis we consume, which is a lot more than the average user.   

Our friend here in Mexico saw us take in large amounts of concentrates and do everything from garden to cook him delicious meals as part of my food business.  We spoke a lot of my previous mindset towards pot and how I've come full circle with it, often with me stopping mid-sentance to do a dab that would put most people on their asses.  We shared stories of some of the things we've done, things that would be amazing for anyone let alone someone who consumes cannabis, a drug thought of as one that'll slow you down and make you dumb. From my understanding, while he doesn't necessarily think he needs it, he now thinks of cannabis as an important tool for many and has respect for our heavy use.  He's gone as far as to tell his children that he's okay with it if they still consume cannabis.  He also has taken an active interest in the glassblowing business, despite the fact that we primarily produce items that he currently has no use for. 

Cannabis is not a drug solely used to drop out, like many(including the government) would like you to believe.  Like anything, it can be used as such, but that is not the end all be all of the situation.  There are many important people that consume cannabis in the same manner we do.  There are also a lot of important people who still subscribe to the belief that you cannot be productive when high, something I recently I experienced at Anarchopulco.  I considered many of the speakers to be stoners (at least somewhat) before attending and was extremely surprised to find that many of them had this "can't do shit when high" attitude. I was extremely disappointed to say the least, as I know for a fact that you can do anything high and I feel these people are selling themselves short. I was excited to share both my story and my cannabis oils with them, and realistically got refused by everyone of note as they cited they were not at their best when high.  

To these people I ask and anyone else who insists you can't be productive high, is it really the pot or is it your perception of it that makes this reality?  Would people like me exist if that were the case? What about the many medical patients that suggest they are only functional when under the influence as it removes many of the physical and mental inhibitions they experience sober? Many will say, that it's a great option for some people, but not for them as they aren't capable of being productive high.  Do you really want to sell yourself short over perceptions you currently hold? If you don't enjoy the effects of cannabis, and not everyone does, that's fine.  If you do enjoy cannabis but still hold the belief that you cannot be productive or at your best when high, I believe you are selling yourself short and are denying yourself of great life experiences. As for me, I'll remain highly functional in an attempt to show people the other side of the extremely misunderstood coin, that anyone can do anything they set their minds to. 

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This is a great topic you picked here. I think there are points to both sides of this coin. I use cannabis whenever posible as dictated by my economy, free time and job requirements. I have been both highly functional and highly unfunctional at various times. This is a topic that can be broken down into many sub categories as it has implications that go into issues of self esteem, psychological traps, social misconceptions, taboo enforcement by society, preconceived and erroneous notions which lead to the manifestations of those notions. If i were high right now i could think of a few more LOL. This is a broad subject and its implications speak about societies' accepted judgement of the effects of cannabis use, which is narrow.

Keep in mind the growing number of strains of cannabis which are 'functional' strains, in their own right. I've spent 30+ years functioning 'high' (atuism and pain) and can now get th;e same relief, without any high or stone or inebriation.

It's as if I've been cruising the freeways at 80mph for 30+ years, and suddenly I have a windshield. :) No more squinting and bugs and other hassles of traveling at speed in the wind. lol

Interesting article. I always have considered myself a drop-out stoner but that's because I use it to relax and take time off. It's not that I can't be productive while stoned, but I have to force myself to, and the high can be distracting. I find it hard to multi-task when stoned and when I'm in work mode, I like to have several things going on at once, or at least think of other things while I accomplish a task. So I guess that's why I save it for after work is done. But I will take what you wrote here to heart and maybe try working it into my productive time.
P.S. the images in the post have me drooling, good lord.

Thank you for writing this. In my experience cannabis is an enhancer. It makes the dumb dumber and the smart smarter.

There are so many great points to this article I really couldn’t narrow down what to thank you for most. Let’s just say you’re one heck of a role model. So glad you’re living free now.

The "drop in stoner". Well said! good description. I resonated with this entire article. Thanks for sharing. I was just thinking today about trying to make it to my first Anarchopulco!

I'm highly functional, too. I love -- and live -- that term! Great phrase, John. Awesome post, @lily-da-vine. From the buyer of your first blown bong... which serves me so well. <3

Well Spoken

I'm glad you found alternatives to traditional 'school' :)

Its very interesting how some people are able to blaze all day and just alter their headspace a little, while for others a couple of puffs will knock them for 6.
My favourite examples of highly functional stoners include Bob Marley, Hunter S Thompson and Carl Sagan - wonder how much the herb influenced their output?

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