Wait a Second, Did You Put Cannabis in that Yet? [Bizarre Cannabis products that have come to the market since legalization]

in #marijuana8 years ago (edited)

Cannabis has been popular and used medicinally by many cultures for as long as we have written records. In 2008, a man in a 2,700 year old grave in the Gobi desert was revealed to be in possession of nearly two pounds of still green plant material, the world's oldest cannabis stash! The ancient Chinese cultures used cannabis as a cure for absent-mindedness. Even Ayurvedic medicine has been using cannabis as a medicine since it's founding.

Now in the year of 2016, we are seeing a re-emergence of cannabis with it being legalized both medicinally and recreationally throughout the states of America. Cannabis is an extremely versatile plant and can be used in many ways, but have we begun to take this trend too far?

We'll let you decide that for yourself as you navigate through these 8 growing popular cannabis items.


  • Hemp Dog Treats

Man's best friend needs to be able to take his medicinal dosage of cannabis as well! With that statement being said, Canna-Pet brings to you Cannabinoids for Dogs! And directly from their site: "When we developed our Advanced Formula products in 2015 we decided instead to produce a much more concentrated product (like our MaxCBD) that was strong enough for a Giant Breed, but safe enough for a chihuahua. This requires much higher levels of not only CBD, but two dozen other cannabinoids and terpenes unique to Canna-Pet®, and it allows us to produce two simple formulas to cover dogs of any size."


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Extremely unique and good at what they do, you can purchase the size of dog you have to make sure they get the proper medicinal dosage. And if you have a cat, Canna-Pet makes a special line just for feline friends in need of relief. They've also released a product line specific to horses!


  • Sizzurp

Thanks to Project Pat, and the rest of the Three 6 Mafia, everybody is well aware of the existence of sizzurp. Also known as Purple Drank, sizzurp is a mix of prescription codeine based cough medicine with promethazine, a sedative, Sprite, and more often than not Jolly Ranchers. There are a long list of negative effects that could help you find your way to the hospital. The high is terrible and the mixture tastes like straight swamp-ass.


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In my stoney opinion, sizzurp is in the top list of the most stupid drugs abused, but that didn't stop companies like Actabliss. This company has come forth with a brand new version to get your lean on legally. Actabliss Grape Syzurp With Cannabidnoids promises up to a 10 hour high for $45 a bottle.

If you ever want to get high off of shitty cough syrup, now you have a healthier version - if there were such a thing.


  • Marijuana Infused Coffee

Coffee is rich in caffeine, a substance which is known to have effects that raise your awareness and make you more alert. Effects of this nature are known as uppers. Cannabis is known to have the exact opposite effect, except for specific strains of course, leaving the cannabis consumer relaxed and feeling comfortable. Effects of this nature are known as downers. The street term for mixing uppers and downers is called a "speed ball." Hippies all across the forest are well aware of the "hippie speed ball," and now it is being brought to you for a single purchase.


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Legal, a cold brewed cannabis infused coffee drink developed by Adam Stites, contains 20 milligrams of THC, the psychoactive component of cannabis, per bottle. While that is not enough to get you completely zooted, its enough to be compared to “a nice IPA or glass of wine. We don’t want to pack so much THC into every one of our drinks that it’s unpleasant, especially for people that are just getting into marijuana,” Stites told My Northwest.


  • Cannabis Breath Spray

Have you ever been out on a date and realized that you weren't stoned enough, AND your breath held a note of rank to it? Well worry no more! The Bhang, a California based cannabis product-line production company, has brought to us the The Bhang THC Crisp Mint Spray!


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For approximately $40 at any supplying cannabis collective, you receive a spray bottle containing 300mg of THC. One official dosage of THC is listed as 10mg, giving you approximately 30 doses. The Bhang has created multiple different lines, to include a CBD concentrated spray. When you are in need of a dose, simply spray some of the liquid under your tongue or into the sides of your mouth and let it absorb through the membranes in your mouth.

The company made these sprays to help those who could not consume the medicine in other forms for various health reasons, but if the past has taught us anything its that Americans like shortcuts.


  • Weed Pizza

Everybody loves food that makes you hungry! A pizza company in Vancouver, Canada that goes by the name of Mega iLL has begun to offer cannabis infused pizza pies in two varieties. The first way that you may order your stoney pizza, assuming you have your medical cannabis card of course, is with a cannabis infused olive oil drizzled over the top of the pie. The second of the two varieties is with crumbled kush leaves as a choice for a topping.

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This company makes all of their pies with organic and local sourced ingredients. And to top it all off, no pun intended, they even have vaporizers at each of their tables so that you can vape while you eat!


  • Weed Beef Jerky

Toss out the cookies and gummies, as this product right here is a complete game changer. Many people are on diets that does not allow them to consume sweets or limit their sugar intake, such as the GAPs diet and those with diabetes. Some people do it for health reasons, others as a lifestyle, regardless of their reasoning the notorious cannabis sweets are no longer the main source of your access to edible cannabis infused products.


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As the main psychoactive compound in cannabis, THC, is essentially an oil, it will easily absorb into anything that is porous. Badfish Extracts, a cannabis extract company in California, has created "Reef Jerky," a cannabis infused beef jerky. Using USDA prime beef, this company infuses each half ounce package with 134 milligrams of pure THC oil.


  • Cannabis Pork

First we gave you cannabis beef jerky, but this is something completely different and mildly entertaining. With the legalization of cannabis in the state of Washington Von Schneidau, owner of BB Ranch Meats, decided to team up with local marijuana grower Top Shelf Organic to raise pigs fed on pot plants. The pigs, known as "pot bellied porkers," are then turned into marijuana-infused bacon and sold at the butcher's shop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=5mXVppuONwY

While the bacon does not get you stoned as the THC does not transfer into the meat, though scientists are still uncertain if all of the cannabinoids are metabolized out before the pigs go to slaughter, the diet of pot plants seems to make the meat redder and more savory. The item was so popular that they sold out of meat. The company was uncertain if they would be continuing to pursue this line of product in the future.


  • Cannabis Tampons!

One use throughout history for cannabis has been to relieve menstrual pains, also known as dysmenorrhoea. This pain can be so debilitating that it can completely ruin a woman who is experiencing the symptom's day. Many pharmaceutical companies have created drugs that these woman can take to alleviate the pain. Now there is a completely natural alternative to these chemicals.


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Foria has crafted a tampon-shaped cannabis suppository designed to deliver THC and CBD directly to the affected area. Foria has managed to come up with a way to apply these compounds without creating the notorious psychotropic high that comes with smoking cannabis. THC and CBD have both been shown, through history and in modern scientific studies, to have incredible pain management qualities to them. Focusing on these particular traits, Foria came forth with the cannabis tampon.

The next time you're experiencing cramps, go ahead and get your vagina stoned with Foria Relief Suppositories!


So as you can see from these products listed above, our cultures and societies with access to legalized cannabis, either recreational or medicinal, have come up with many new forms of ingesting this incredible herb. Every day a new idea is born and created to allow for a unique experience with the cannabis flower. Some of these ideas are crazy, some of them never make it past brainstorming, and some of them get lost in the smoke. What truly matters though is that our societies and cultures are becoming more aware of the powerful qualities that the compounds found in the cannabis plant, and the plant itself, are extremely versatile making them unbelievably valuable to almost every single industry that is currently on the market. Whether or not these brands decide to take their product too far or not, well, that begs the question of what -is- too far?



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PALPABLE POPE Ypyskypo Skwyrl, the Y'sas
High Priest, Temple of Appled Thought
Alchemist for Trades


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Well written @alchemage. I love your descriptive use of words. I'm still chuckling about "tastes like straight swamp-ass".

Thank you very much for your appreciation! I am glad that you enjoyed my writing. I enjoy describing things and creating a semi-tangible reality through just the use of my words. Thank you for your comment!

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