Mom 💓

Hey guys , so as I was busy posting my links yesterday , I saw this post by @sillentkiller
https://steemit.com/contest/@sillentkiller/maa-your-feelings-need-to-be-expressed
And my eyes were caught up on the word Mom , and I decided to give this essay or a poem a try!
That's when my electricity went 😂🤣, so I'm going to try today !!

My Mom

Ever since I was just an imagination my mom started loving me , I was born , and I cost her alot , not just her beauty , but also many more complications. And then mom had to leave me with my grandparents , as she wanted me to live in a better circumstance , so she and dad left me. Then , I am seeing her again when I became 5 years old. But that was just one month , when she came home for vacation . Then at last , my small sister was born and I got my visa to travel abroad to see my parents and my sister. But by then , I wasn't very sure ,how to express my love towards her , I was more close with my dad , maybe because I was raised by my dad's family . I'm not sure , offcourse I loved my mom , but I was unable to show her that , many a times , I still remember us fighting , over silly things . I really don't know why. I always remember wishing that , my mom could understand that I love her . But , in my mom's mind , she always thought that since dad's family took care of me , I love them more. But that wasn't the truth , I loved everyone equally. There was never a high or a low. It's just that I am really bad at expressing my feelings. I am a person who is scared to love . Something like that , every since one of my best friend passed away. I was in a depressed state and mom thought I was angry at her. But I was just in my own thoughts. I so wish that I was a better daughter somehow. But I didn't know how to be one . So today , I am going to write what I feel , I should have done right!

That day as I came from the flight , I should have hugged you and Dad together. I'm sorry if I have made you feel bad anytime for anything mummy! It was never my intention, I was just trying to figure myself out , I was never not living you , I just didn't know how to be much better. The pressure to be a better student from school , and not having any friends , and kids at school making fun of me for being fat did contribute to my mood changes a lot. But I never intended to be harsh to you ever. I know how much pain you must have gone through because of me , ever since I was a baby , till now. I am trying so much to be a good daughter to you and Dad. I am , I'm not lying here. I have had many people around me say to me , why don't you come clubbing with us or why don't you get a boyfriend or why don't you smoke or why don't you drink ??
But I don't , firstly because of you and God , because of my promise to you both , and I hate such a lifestyle too , that too because of you. And every single day I pray to God , to keep my family safe , to protect you , because without you , my life would be blank mummy . It's just that you don't know , but I love you very very much. Yes , I do , and I surely do know ,how much pain you still go through. I wish I could ease your pains. I think , I am doing what I can , I know I can't help much , but I'm doing everything in my tiny ways to help from my part. Never lose hope mummy , never give up , cause I love you , we can get back whatever we lost. I am so thankful to God that you are my mom and not someone else.

Please be strong mummy , I know you are trying your best ! I will always be there for you no matter what , I couldn't while I was small , but I'm no longer small anymore. I love you mummy!! Even all the beatings and shouting from you , where infact a blessing in disguise . I guess if you hadn't done that ,at that time , I would still be a lazy bum , but I'm where I am today , I can't help but to give all the credits to you. I know our life was never lillies and roses , but through it all , I promise I will be with you , I feel like singing Meri Maa!! I am Soo happy you are my supermom 💓. Although you are similar to me in many ways , you don't know how to drive , me too. You are very emotional , me too . And many more , I love all those qualities about you , I know you might think , maybe you are not a good mom , but I would say you are and always will be my AWESOME COOL MOM , Not only because you managed everything even after having work like 24×7 , but also you have tried your very best to teach me life values . I am so proud and happy , as I am Different from other people. That's all because of you !

I LOVE YOU MUMMY!!