Stop Waiting

Here, in the dark of night I am still waiting for him, waiting for him whom I love so much, though it is impossible to return but I am still waiting for him. I was stupid because love I knew there he was happy with his partner but I still waiting for him I believe someday he came back, back to my embrace. I hoped that the night's wind blow brings my longing for him.

I can not forget that day, the day he left me, when that love has left me and it keeps hurting, but foolish I never let my races disappear, even when he looks distant until everything becomes a part of the past I'm still here with the same sense .

Since I left him, I no longer have the courage to open the door, there are some who try to knock but I'm reluctant to open it, I'm still comfortable in this zone, I try to bring new people in my life but it never works no one can replace it. Jogging is my new hobby, I tried to run away from reality, a reality that is difficult accepted by my common sense, suddenly I heard a voice that was so familiar in my ear, Well Andri voice.

"Where are you from?" He yelled as he pulled my hair.
"What the hell, sick to know."
"Where did you go this afternoon? why not meet me at the cafe? "
"Oh yeah my God I made a deal with you, I forget real."
"Then why your number is not active."
"I turn off the heck, deliberately so no one disturbed, sorry so sorry really."

Andri tried to understand, he was my best friend he who guided me when I did not find the direction, he is the only one who understand my feelings at this time. Tonight I stayed at Andri's house, accompanying her sister because her parents were out of town. Just like the previous nights I always sat in the moonlight, my heart always clashing with logic, I always smile as if everything is fine, even though there is actually a very sore wound.

"what are you doing here?"
"I'm looking for a breeze, in a cramp." I replied to hide the turmoil, but Andri was smart enough to read my face, he sat next to me, my crying broke the silence, Andri tried to calm me, he knew there was a wound I was hiding.
"I know you miss him, you still think about it, but does he also think of you? how long do you waste your time for the vain? Come on, Rin's got plenty of light out there. "

"Then what about my feelings?" I asked while shedding tears.
"Let that sense lead to itself, with the right person, remember Rin mate is not going anywhere, find your feelings back so you are not being toyed with your own feelings." He replied, I paused trying to digest what Andri had just said. My heart began to rebel, "I've been in this zone for so long, it's time I stepped in to pick up my own happiness," I thought.
The orange light that had been drawn from the east gave its warmth this morning, making my eyes reluctant to greet the dawn, suddenly my hp voice rang marked there was an incoming message, I grabbed it with my eyes still closed.

"Hey, how are you? I'm in makassar ketemuan yuk? "That's the contents of a successful message to make my eyes wide. I do not know what the wind why he was so suddenly greeted me, it's been long enough he did not contact me. I'm still staring at my cell phone screen, with a million questions in my head. "Why now? Why when I try to forget you why you come back? Why did you stop me when I started walking? "I was mad at myself for not being able to forget her until now I still love her.

I do not reply to messages from him, the phone did not answer me, so even with Andri phone. Today I had an appointment with Andri at the usual place but my feet were so tired to move, I decided not to meet both. Andri's voice came from outside the house, I've told you everything that happened today, I rushed to open the door.

"What's going on night and night?"
"Are you all right?" He asked.
"Yes, sorry I can not come." I replied flatly.
"Oh ya Rin there is a letter from your secret pengemaramu?"
"Haaa secret fans? Who? "I asked in surprise.
Andri left me without answering my question, I open the letter with great care, it seems a poem.

"Why never put your boat on a dock? when I see, not just one quiet harbor who will accept the presence of your ship, if there was once a small port that you should forget, why do not you find another port that will provide more peace? If you want to open the curtain in your heart, you will know which port you want to stop forever, until it becomes your home, your home and the harbor of your heart. "
(Poetry by Tyas Tatanka with the title of the harbor). "

My eyes began to glaze over after I read the poem given by Andri, I contemplate the word beautifully etched on the paper. I made up my mind not to wait for nothing. Now I realize, Andri loves me more than a friend, I also learn to bring the same feeling, I stepped left my memories in the past, Andrilah who managed to open the door that had been so long closed.

Sometimes you are so sure a person's presence will give meaning to the soul, until that person goes you are still waiting for him with a million wishes he will come back. You shut the door for the others. While he is waiting you are happy with his choice. If you sincerely accept everything then there will be a better substitute that God prepared for you. Your job is not to search for it but to get it. Is not your soul mate a reflection of you?....