Long-Distance Relationship Tips

in love •  9 months ago

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Guys, being in a long distance relationship is hard. And most of us will experience its dubious joys at one point or another -- a recent study shows that at least 75% of relationships in the United States have gone through a period of long-distance at some point. I was reflecting on my own relationship recently, and while I'm certainly no relationship guru, I would round up my thoughts in a list in hopes that someone might find it helpful. If you are in a long-distance relationship of your own and have any thoughts or tips to share, or would just like commiserate, then please leave a comment below!

1. Communicate

Figure out your and your partner’s preferred forms of communication. Between video chat, phone calls, text messages, email, and snail mail, there is literally no excuse not to have good communication with your long-distance buddy. Choose a couple forms of communication that work best for you (video chat and text message are a good combo, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the choices), and then try to have some kind of contact with your partner every day.

2. Be Flexible

There are a lot of rules online for how to date someone long distance. You can easily find lists (similar to this one!) which tell you to video chat every day, or text good morning and good night every day, and so on. But the reality of life is that every relationship is different. Consider how busy you and your partner are, your schedules (and the time difference), and how often you each need to communicate with the other to feel cared about and secure in your relationship. Talk to each other about the daily stressors you face and your needs in the relationship — and be aware that these can change over time. If you’re open and honest with each other, you’ll naturally fall into patterns and routines that serve both of you well.

3. Cultivate Trust

Trust is the foundation of all long distance relationships. Think hard about what you need to feel absolutely secure and trusting of your partner — and then communicate it to them. If you ever feel your trust in each other dissipating, openly address it and see if there’s a way to adjust patterns or behaviors to cultivate more trust. Trust is a top priority in long-distance relationships, so make sure it doesn’t fall by the wayside.

4. Be Independent

Make sure to live your own life while you have a long-distance relationship. Not only does it distract you and make the waiting and separation less painful, it’s simply a healthier way to be in a relationship. Value your friends, your work, and your activities outside your long-distance relationship. Make sure that your partner respects the time you set aside for these things, and do the same for them.

5. Advocate For Your Needs

Understand that a large amount of our communication is nonverbal and body-language based, but almost all of your communication with your partner will be verbal, or word-based. This means that your partner is going to have a much harder time picking up on nuances in your communication (so if you prefer to hint at things or be passive aggressive, you may want to adjust your approach in a long-distance setting). If you want or need something from your partner — whether an apology, a timely text message response, more frequent video chats, or something else entirely — then ask for it clearly. Even if your partner is a mind-reader in person, they’re going to have a much harder time reading your mind when you’re far away. So skip the angst and misunderstandings, and do yourself a favor by directly advocating for your needs.

6. Know the Next Time That You Will See Each Other

This will depend on your schedules, financial situations, and the sheer number of miles between the two of you, but try not to leave visits up in the air, especially if you see each other infrequently. Knowing the next time that you will see each other makes long-distance easier to tolerate, because you know for sure that the time you are apart from each other is finite.

7. Find the Upside

There are a lot of downsides to being in a long-distance relationship, but if you only focus on those, it’s just going to make it harder to tolerate. Instead, consider the upsides. For instance, long-distance allows people to be independent and focus on their own lives and goals while still experiencing the emotional support system that a relationship provides. It often strengthens relationships by improving a couple’s communication skills. It also makes the time you spend together so much more special, and it makes you more grateful for the time that you have with them. It lets you know that your relationship is strong — think of long distance like a stress test for relationships. And finally, long distance is letting you remain in a relationship with a wonderful person.


Image provided by Pixabay.

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I find trust is very important factor here. It is to be earned to have values . LIke money/currency the value in it lies upon the trust that we put in it.

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I had long-distance relationship for 1 year, but it ended wery bad for me...
I prefer now only close relationship so i could see the person i love any time i whant! when u have doubt in person u love and u cant meet her to understand what is wrong u are just going nuts, it is torture...

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Yeah, long distance is definitely difficult. I'm sorry to hear that happened. :(

I suppose this article is about people who have actually met in real life and then life forced the to be away from each other for a while right?

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That's the scenario I had in mind when I was writing it, but a lot of it could apply to other relationship scenarios as well. Feel free to just focus on whatever seems most useful to you. :)

Long distance relationships are hard, but they're also incredible, if you can love, trust, respect and support each other from a distance then you'll be unstoppable once you are physically together. "Distance means so little, when someone means so much."

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I absolutely agree. Well said!

Thank you sow much

Great post. On one hand, my own experience is that long distance relationships are tough to maintain: there's a lot of uncertainty involved with not seeing someone on a near-daily basis. That being said, a friend of mine dated his (now wife) for 13 years long distance (we're talking Sri Lanka-to-United States) before they tied the knot. I'm not sure how many time zones they're apart, but they made it through and not only that, are one of the happiest couples I've seen. My take is it's a combination of extremely high chemistry and, in this case the guy being one of the most generous and understanding people I've met. Definitely appreciate the advice you have for those who are trying to make things work!

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Awwww, that's such a sweet story! I'm glad that it worked out for them. And it's so nice to hear about a long distance relationship that really worked out -- too often we hear about the relationships that failed, not the ones that succeeded.

Do not argue or fight via text or email. Call, or even better, discuss this in person.

Keep things interesting! Write your guy random love letters all the time and mail them to him. It really brightens his day. This year I will also order him something from Amazon and have it shipped to him.

Take time out of your day, every day, to talk to each other and catch up.

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That's great advice! Miscommunication is so easy over text or email... thank goodness for Skype!

This post is really helpful. I have been in a long distance relationship with a girl from Russia and I live in the United States. We really care for each other but it is really hard for us to see each other because we are both minors and as you can imagine, its an insane amount of money to see her. I will be sure to use some of these points. Happy Holidays to ya my friend!

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I'm glad the post was helpful! I'm rooting for both you. :) Happy holidays!

What a nice write
Merry

People that can manage that kind of relationship are much more mature than their peers. I have seen very few succeed, but the ones that do are forever.

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It's definitely a nice thought, that the ones which manage to stay together can withstand anything else... the anecdotal evidence definitely seems to point that way. :)

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haha yes that's true... Happy new year @theowlhours :)

Nice post. I actually tried a long distance relationship which lasted for about 2 years. It wasn't so bad but we had trust issues, or maybe just me. We just had to end things, but we still talk tho, but on a friendship level.
Thanks for the tips.

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It's nice that the two of you are still friends. :) Long distance is definitely difficult, but I think it's admirable that you both made it work for two years.

Nice post... Am in a long distance relationship now and its working

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Glad to hear it! :)

Wow extensive thnx for this happy holidays

That is a useful post for me, thank you :-) Happy christmas

My loved one is a few thousand kilometers away (I am on Ibiza and she in England), but she made this artistic picture for me :-)

festive blessings

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That's so sweet! What a great photo! And I'm glad that you found the post useful. Happy New Year to both of you. :)

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Thanks @theowlhours !

Happy New Year to you 😀

Those are very useful words to me, thank you for sharing with us your thoughts. I will be sure to try some points you made. : )

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I'm glad you you found it helpful! Happy holidays!

to most important thing is to be honest about your feelings

Very good
Please support me.

The secret of your happy relationship is that I think you can talk. every problem will be solved if we talk. I think that one can empathize.you mentioned a beautiful topic. Thank you ;)

Aw man, I was in a long-distance relationship myself years ago, and I must say, I don't think I will ever do it again. It was just too hard!

Technology definitely made communication easier, but... nah. I can't man.

I just started a long distance relationship. I have had red flags already. So yes, without trust it makes the relationship difficult. I am 100% sure this guy is married now!! I will deal with it today!! Great post. I look forward to more!!