What does everybody want out of love, romance and marriage? I was thinking it through and I realized it comes down to the three C's:
The first “C” is cute because there needs to be some kind of physical attraction that differentiates it from just a friendship.
The second "C" is a little trickier, it’s character - meaning you trust them and there's something you admire that transcends how they look.
The third "C" its compatibility - meaning when you two go out, one hour seems like one minute. It’s like how Albert Einstein explained the theory of relativity:
“An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour…that’s relativity.” - Albert Einstein
Compatibility at it’s truest form means spending an hour together and feeling like a minute has passed. You want to have shared interests and commonalities, but not identical, because on some level opposites do attract.
The scientist Dr. David Buss spoke on this and he said the problem is, humans are easily tricked. We asses the first “C’ because it’s easy to evaluate how cute somebody is – how they look.
The other two “C’s” are tricky, especially character, because people can trick you - they don’t show you their true colors at first - so it’s harder to evaluate their character. We live in a society where everyone is evaluating on the first “C” – how people look.
When it comes to compatibility we can figure it out relatively easy, but we like to fool ourselves. We think:
"oh it doesn’t really matter that we don’t have anything in common, I’m attracted to them."
By the end of the day, that gets old, we all know that. It’s common sense. I wonder if that’s why there are more and more divorces - more and more people looking for love, but can’t find it. Is it because the media allows us to over evaluate the first “C” (cute)?
Or is it because character has gone down in the world?
Maybe things are too easy, the modern world might be too easy for us.
What do you think?
It’s a tough question. I don’t have all the answers. These are just some of my thoughts as I try to put things into mental models.