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RE: MARRYING AFRICA
It takes a lot of time. Sometimes I'm grateful for it, other times for both of us, it seems like torture. Then there's the times when I can feel resentful to him, the universe, but the guilt that follows is as tortuous. You're right about this though,
There is no easy way to go through this.
and no right way either.
No, it is just something we have to go through...
@lynncoyle1 I absolutely agree with what @cecicastor says. It is simply something you go through. Don't be surprised or alarmed about you different feelings. It is part of the process. We were never created for this terrible suffering and loss. Our body, mind, spirit cope (or don't) in any way possible. Breath. Walk the road that you still have together. I often wondered if preparing together is better or sudden loss. I don't think there is an answer. Just know you ARE NOT ALONE!
Thank you so much for that @buckaroo! This,
means the world to me <3
Brian and I were just talking about that the other day actually, and I know that I can only "plan" for so much, but like @cecicastor says, it's eventually like a brick in the face. Brian is very much a man's man, and hates to see the wasting away that is happening physically to him, as well as his lack of energy...he's the guy that was always on the go, and always doing things for me. Now it's the exact opposite, and he hates it.
Having said that, would I prefer a "sudden loss", I don't think so, as difficult as this is!
Thank you again <3
Duncan, my first husband was the same. He wasn't a man's man but so active. Always interacting. Always helping, getting involved - paying it forward. You can imagine he was extremely frustrated to not have that strength and be constantly tired and slowly dependent. I have to admit we lived with hope. I was absolutely convinced up until the last day that there would be a miracle. I would get very angry with him just giving in the last few weeks. But by then I know he was in so much pain and so exhausted he couldn't deny the reality. It is difficult. I am speechless at the memory and the knowledge that you are going through this. It is terrible and cruel. Life shouldn't be snuffed out like this. We should grow old. Very old with our beloved ones
Aww I'm so sorry. I can still hear the pain in your words.
Yes we should!!