RE: 😳 Jealousy: Good, bad, evil? 😳
this is such an important topic and kind of a hot button for me.
Too often jealousy gets mistaken for love.
To me, jealousy is not love. When I do feel jealous, I realize that it is my problem and try not to make it my partners. I see jealousy as fear, insecurity, and damaging to a relationship.
I want my partner to be as free as possible, we are working together then there is no need for insecurity.
It can be difficult to have that kind of detachment. What really helps is having an atmosphere of open honest communication. When we are not afraid to share our deepest truths and experience sometimes painful revelations, that is where true security comes from.
I'm historically bad at relationships, but I do believe the above to be true.
I think it's interesting, but I am made to understand that some people actually want their partner to be at least a little jealous. Which I can understand.
I do really like what you said about how it can be a signal for you to take care of your relationship. For me, that would mean if I value the relationship then I need to be the best me I can be, not to try to alter their behavior.
It's good for us to be more connected with each other, but all too often it seems jealousy separates people rather than bringing them together.
Thanks for this awesome comment! I agree with what you said. Typically I think a lot of jealousy comes from insecurities, but there could be some cases such as crossing a boundary in a relationship that could lead to jealousy.
I've also heard that saying that if your partner is jealous it just means that they love you... which I don't agree with. I see that as controlling for the most part.
yes, I agree with you completely. the display of jealousy is typically an issue of control. personally, I am polyamorous. it's difficult for me to have this dicussion with people who are not. because most people think that monogomy justifies jealousy. to me, when people use monogomy to justify jealousy they are rigging the game to favor their control issue, which is insecurity based