I understand the analogy in the title but only on a very general and metaphoric level. That masturbation is just self satisfaction on a physical level. One can argue that emotion is also a physical phenomenon of the brain. And thus romantic love is emotional masturbation. As you are trying to satisfy your mind’s physical needs.

Regarding what women want. I think the key is how much you’re willing to lie to yourself or change yourself to attain something, or someone in this case, that may not be your own personal desire but based on society’s influence. If you modify your appearance or personality to meet a socially acceptable norm or apparent superiority then you are changing who you are to attract someone that wants that socially acceptable norm or facade that you’re portraying.

The question or struggle is more within. How much are you willing to change to make it easier or quicker to find someone. Potentially compromising the quality of those you attract.

Or do you stay true to yourself, attract less people but potentially find a better quality match.