Coffee With My Dad - Pain and Joy

in love •  3 months ago

Every Wednesday morning for the last several years I have stopped by my where my Dad, Mom, and Sister live to sit at the breakfast table to enjoy coffee with my dad. He was not able to get out of the house much so I decided to make that special effort every week to give him some dedicated time.

That time spent was simple, but so valuable. We just sat at the table sipping on black coffee while enjoying light conversation. My dad was interested in how life was going for me and my family. He loved hearing about the kids and their adventures and troubles.

Later, near the end of his life, he didn't interact much during our time at the table. My mom joined us to help keep the conversation going. My dad sat there with an occasional nod, grunt and smile.

Today is the first Wednesday morning that I didn't go over to that house. The alarm rang early like it has for years, but I turned it off and tried for just a few more minutes of sleep. It hurts to know that my time at the table with my dad is over. I arranged with my mom telling her that we'll come up with a new routine with her. I just can't do it on Wednesday morning any longer.

Forgive me if the post today seems sad. It is sad. I'm sad... but I'm also looking to find joy in the memories of my dad. This post and probably more will be to help me express these thoughts and feelings. You have been a very supportive community to me in this. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing this time with me!

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Love is very important. Love is world and everything.

I miss a lot about @daddykirbs.
Speaking of LOVE... Let us read the book of Christians...

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
King James Version (KJV)

4 - Love suffereth long, and is kind; Love envieth not; Love vaunteth, not itself, is not puffed up,

5 - Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 - Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 - Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 - Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

Have a great day to all and to your family @daddykirbs.


Thank you @kennyroy :) That is a special passage.

strength and faith Blake. Thanks for sharing this story, the best things in life are not things. They are memories like this the best things in life


I agree. Our time together in community with family and friends is eternally valuable.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad and your great loss.
These are beautiful memories of your dad and it does break my heart when you said, you will not have these moments again, but I believe in the afterlife and that you will see your dad and you will spend more of this precious time again, but much better and right now your father is watching over you and your mom and he is happy and in peace.
When my grampa's heart stopped beating (long time ago when I was a child) and then he was brought to life, he was so mad because he said that he was in paradise, it was so beautiful and so peaceful and he was really mad when he was brought to life.

I think it would be a great idea of spending your special time with your mom on a different day and wish you all the best @daddykirbs and sending some hugs and love your way.


Wow, what a great story about your grandpa. I'd be a bit disappointed coming back to this reality too after seeing that ;) thank you for sharing.

You are an integral part of who we are so when anything changes the vibes of our world we ride it out together, we are fanily...


Yes we are Fanily! Thank you for being so encouraging.

"sipping on black coffee while enjoying light conversation"

Right now, I want to go to my parents' house to do that.

Greetings from a far-off land.


I do hope you get to do this soon and often :)

I fully understand that you can't do it on Wednesday mornings and your mother probably does too. You will find a new groove and slowly the grief will fade a bit and life will be happier again and you'll find it even easier to enjoy all the good memories you have.


My mom does understand. She said we will find a good time that works for us in our new situation. I look forward to that.


That's all I have to say. Hugs to you and everyone else in your family.

The most silent cafe in the world, the one who watches everything, looks at you with his blue eyes, so much to say, but the words do not come out, he growls, looks and looks again. I can tell you that you do not know about me anymore. Look at my picture I'm the same as you and you will be the same as me. My love was infinite and it happened to you. I never felt more proud of your work in the farm you gave the best to your family and I gave you what little I had, the best of me is in you and in those who continue you.

These words came to me and I do not know where, but here I put them as best as I can remember them.

El cafe mas silencioso del mundo, el que todo lo observa, te mira con sus ojos azules, tanto que decir, pero no le salen las palabras, gruñe, mira y vuelve a mirar. Que te puedo decir que ya no sepas de mi. Mira mi foto soy igual a ti y tu seras igual a mi. Mi amor fue infinito y te lo pase a ti. Nunca me senti mas orgulloso de tu trabajo en la granja le diste lo mejor a tu familia y yo te di lo poco que tenia, lo mejor de mi esta en ti y en los que te continuan.

Me llegaron estas palabras y no se de donde pero aqui las pongo lo mejor que puedo recordarlas.

I'm so sorry, Daddy Kirbs. Because you loved your Dad and spent this time with him, it does mean there's going to be a big hole in your life now. But bless you for taking the time with your dad seriously enough to dedicate the time this way.

My dad lives a block from his dad. My Nana died two years ago from pancreatic cancer and Dad developed a ritual of going over every night to spend a little time with his father both to help lighten the load of caring for Nana (Papa couldn't get out much during the time she was sick) and to just spend the time with them both. Now that Nana's gone, he's continued going over. Almost every single night after dinner, he goes over there and sits with Papa and they talk about the day and share a snack or a drink and often watch an episode of some show they've decided to watch on Netflix. My dad has become very, very close to Papa, closer than they've been the rest of their lives.

This time is valuable. Papa just turned 88. If a person isn't deliberate and persistent enough to seize these days, the time goes by and doesn't come back.

This whole post was a wise reminder of that...

Buen día. Que hermosa es la unión en familia. No debes estar triste porque tu padre no te quería ver así, pienso que cuando alguien se va físicamente debemos de hacer el esfuerzo de pensar, recordar y sentir que de alguna manera aún está allí y en ti, muy dentro de ti. Para que su alma pueda evolucionar más rápido, pienso que mientras más triste estes, tu padre también lo estará, creo que en estos momentos lo mejor es recordar, alimentar todo lo positivo, todo el amor, el aprendizaje, todo lo que de alguna manera te ayude a transmutar el dolor, es muy requerido para superar su ida física. Me encanta la foto, ya que transmite, unión, ternura y calidez familiar. Bueno un gran abrazo de amor familiar, ya que ante Dios todos somos un todo, todos somos familia...