The story between my stepfather Y and me
Y is the first man appeared in my memory since I can remember, and he also the first man I accepted as a family member. Of course, he was also the first man I fell in love with after I entered puberty, and he is the only one till now. From my second year of high school, he came to my dream until now, I haven't had any feelings about other boys.
Okay, the moral guardian's spiritual cleanliness can go away. . . Don't waste time.
I have never seen my real dad, my mother never mentioned him. I don’t think he knows my existence.
Y came to my life when I was in elementary school. He works for my mother. Then he marries to my mother later. Of course, they have divorced. My mother is married again, and she has a 5-year-old boy now. . .
Y is 17 years older than me! He is 36 now. In his 36 years life he has not encountered any catastrophe, except me. I think I am the catastrophe for him. But this catastrophe is inevitable.
Let me start at my acquaintance with Y. The first time I saw him, I was going to elementary school. He just came to my mother's company and work for my mother. Sometimes he was requested to come to my house to prepare for my lunch, because my mum too busy. I always polite to my mum’s other staffs, because I was request to. But in front of Y, I feels very relax, and I like to call him by name because he is so nice and not serious at all. Like the other child I quite forgetful too. I often forgot to bring homework books, or other messy things which requested by the schoolteacher. I remembered that one time I forgot to take a special box as requested by the teacher the day before. I remembered when I arrived at school, so I hurried to call Y. I did even not to think about to call my mum, because I know she doesn’t care. My mother always busy in their laboratory and I don’t think she has any remaining attention on me. I was so worried when I made the phone call to Y. On the other side of the phone Y sounds very calm and told me no worried he will take the book to school as soon as possible. After two lessons with anxiety, I heard the teacher call me, saying that someone was looking for me in the reception room. Y unexpectedly came, he might run too fast when I saw him, he still puffing! This almost the best gift I have ever received in the world. Y rode a bicycle, sweating, but still look my eye and smile. This is the brightest and warmest memory of my dark childhood. It will never fade, and I will always remember the appearance of Y standing outside the school with a box.
The story between my mother and Y is very simple. Y always following my mother's words. All my mother's staffs a kind of afraid of her include Y. but Y also cares about her, because he feels that it is not easy for her to raise the child by herself. This is what I felt afterwards. My mother is 6 years older than him. She is a pretty woman. When they get married, I was 10 years old. In that summer my mother wants to travel oversea, she wants to go just with Y and let me go my grandma’s home. Yan disagreed, he insists on taking me, so they had a fight.
At that moment I'm afraid to die, I don’t like left behind, because in my eyes this means abandonment. Maybe I was too young by then but that is feeling come to me. But I can't object my mum. Because I was too scared of her.
In my memory this is the first time that they quarrel so fiercely. In my memory’s, Y seems to never argue with my mother, because he is such a nice and quiet person. My mother has lots of excuses to not take me. In the impression she kept saying the reasons, but Y keep repeated: if we go, we must take S (S is my name). He said: I couldn't leave her at home alone. But my mother said that she is no longer a child and can take care of herself. Y does not agree with her. He told mum: If we left her behind, this might hurt her feeling”. The way Y frowned when he is talking, he expression and serious tone were different from those in the past, which touched me a lot. Seriously, at that moment I am grateful. At the end the oversea tripe was cancelled.
When I was young, I always feel that Y is my peer. He always helped me with my homework, accompany me to do handicrafts, and told me stories. I always like to share my secrets with him.
When I first had menstruation, only Y and me were at home. My white sportswear was stained with blood. Its looks very disgusting. I hate myself at that moment. It was Y found out the sanitary napkins and glued it together with the new underwear and asked me to go back to the room to change it. When I got in my mood and came out of my bedroom, he had already washed the clothes. He told me not to drink cold water, and not to go to physical education class or the like. No embarrassment, no dislike, Y, as usual, told me to be careful when crossing the road. Such a wonderful person is the most ideal and proud companion of my youth.
They divorced after the high school entrance examination. I was admitted to the key high school that Y expected. There is no quarrel and break up peacefully. My mother quickly got married again and then she quit her job and went to another research institute to partner with someone. I heard from my aunty that she met her incumbent when she was looking for someone to invest. It is said that the two fell in love at first sight. That person was also divorced and had a good time after reorganizing the family. After confirming that my high school is boarding, she decided to move to his town.
The change in my feelings for Y started from that moment. He was down for a while. In that summer he always sitting in the living room without talking, sitting all afternoon. Drink tea quietly, in a daze. I was with him, and it was also an afternoon of silence. But it is strange, and there is no sentimental atmosphere. I kinds of enjoy this peaceful and quiet feeling. No need to think about anything, no fear, no embarrassment, no matter how big and chaotic the world outside, we can only enjoy peace in this small room. I miss every comfortable and intoxicating afternoon in that summer school holiday. When I was about to start school, Y had already cheered up. He sold the house and moved to the company dormitory. Soon, he bought a new house. After he heard my mother have another kid, he secretly transferred the new house to my name. After I move in school dormitory, he disappeared from my life.
. I didn’t see him again until I was hospitalized with appendicitis. when he saw me, he was surprised and speechless.
I started to grow taller in junior high school. I stopped growing in the third year of the school. I grew up to 166cm. I grew fast and eat a lot. I weighed more than 60 kilograms. I was so fat and round. However, in the second month of the new school, my weight dropped to 40kg. This is an ideal weight for girls, but I didn't lose weight healthily, I was emaciated. My hair over the shoulders was withered and split, my face was sallow, my fingernails were all pitted pits, and there were some spots left by allergic acne. my eyes are probably dull. Y was surprised by my horrible appearance at the time. After being discharged from the hospital, Y asked my mother to apply for withdrawal from the school.
My mother called and asked me if I can live by myself? I said: Y will help me. Then my mother let me give the phone to Y. I heard he said, I can take care of X, she is too young to live in school dormitory. My mother probably say something else to him, because Y looked embarrassed. So, I moved out of school. Moved into Y new house. However, he moved out and live in the company dormitory. Only come back to cook at noon and evening and leave after dinner. But I am very happy and satisfied.