Guest post by @crystalll; Love or Lust

So I've heard people in relationships say they're in love with someone else and still in love with their partner. This was really confusing for me to understand at first but now i get it, though i do not fully understand it and i cannot coach or advice anyone going through something like this because I would be as confused as the person or maybe even worse! What I do know anyway is that when you feel something for a person outside your relationship, it didn't just happen believe it or not, there was something missing in your relationship, something this new person obviously has, something you've been craving for from your partner and he/she hasn't been able to provide! If that's not the case then there is an aspect of you that this new person brings out and yes! You like this new you and you're comfortable with it!
Anyways, no matter what the problem might be, whether from you or your partner it's very important you handle it with care as matters of the heart are very delicate and we might end up making all the wrong decisions that feels right or all the temporal ones that seem permanent!
This new guy or girl be sure to understand if it is actually love or lust! Do you feel comfortable talking to them about your future? Your goals? Your plans? Do they understand your moods? Ask yourself certain questions before you rush into a decision, lust appears just as real as love does, you have to carefully understand certain things before you can come to a conclusion to as whether you're in love with this new person or it's just lust… little things to look out for are;

1. Is it always about sex when you meet with this person? No matter what the plans are you guys just end up in bed, if that's the case then it's certainly pointing towards that direction. We all know sex is a way of showing love but if it's always all about sex then that's definitely a red light!
2. Do you always try to impress this person? You always want to be your best when with him/her! You're afraid to show your flaws, imperfection is not an option when you're with this person? That's a sign it's lust! Your partner should be able to see you at your worst and still be in love with you, your scattered hair and messed up makeup, that's what a real relationship should be like… being perfect all the time is taking things as no one is really perfect!

Take out time to understand both persons before you make a decision! Although lust can blossom into love in the future but still love isn't enough to save a relationship,there are other values that are as important as love and you should make sure this other values are always present because in the long run these values are what will save your relationship and get it through all hurdles!