What better topic to write about but Love. It’s the essence and the universal constant. It’s the basics of the spiritual life and it’s the most misunderstood topic in the world.
When we grow up, we learn about love mainly by our parents, our social environment and through movies and books.
The problem with this is, that through all these channels, we don’t learn about true Love. We learn about the Ego’s version of love.
The Ego’s version of love is all about giving and taking. When I give you love, you will give me love back - it’s a trade. We know that this doesn’t work out and ends in confusion, despair and suffering and at the same time, we have no alternative role models.
The world seems to have forgotten the real meaning of Love.
Let’s make it very simple: What Love is not
It’s time to make it simple and to redefine Love in a way, that makes it accessible for everyone.
Let us begin, by defining what true Love is not:
True Love is never about what another person does.
In other words: Whenever you say, that you love someone for behaving in a certain way and doing something of your preference, you are merely telling him, that you like him. You like, what he is doing. That’s all.
Now let us be clear on that: There is nothing wrong with liking what other people do with and for you. It’s beautiful to be with someone you like.
When people share your hobbies, do nice things for you, go out and socialize with you, do things, that cause you pleasure - it’s great to like and be liked. It’s just not Love.
The issue with that is, that people will stop doing what they are doing and so will you. It’s the natural flow of life. People do thing until they don’t and that’s that…
When you believe, that you love someone for what they are doing with and for you, you are basically - what’s the spiritual word for it? - fucked!
The problem is, that since you were disappointed all your life by people changing their behaviour, you already know that, what I’m telling you here is true. That’s why we experience so much fear inside, that people could change.
There is a constant tension inside, that what we call „love“ will be lost sometime. All the while, we are trying to hold on for dear life on what we think we have achieved.
This is the way we have learned about love and we think, that this is the only way. Living a life between joy and pain.
There is another way: What Love is
What then is true Love?
True Love is always about what another person is
It’s all about content and not form (a concept I have explained in my ACIM series, that you can read on my blog).
Now the tricky part is, that we already think, that we are loving the person for what he is. We think, that we already love the content.
Nothing so blinding as perception of form. (T-22.III.6)
Form is how another person looks, what he does - including his personality and tastes.
We think, that character and personality are part of the content, all the while they are still part of the world of form!
This is a very important point. Please read this again, before we continue.
Let this really sink in: Personality and character are form and not content.
I can’t overemphasize how important this realization is, for as long as you believe that when you like someones character, you are truly loving, then you are still caught in the „attraction-fear of loss- cycle“
Character also changes over time and is therefore part of appearance.
What another person truly is, is pure spirit.
The essence of true Love is a joining in Spirit. It’s a union of minds as One Mind. This union can be expresses (or „extended“ as A Course in Miracles calls it) in personality, bodies and form - but the form will always be changing. The essence always is.
True Love is beyond time and form.
This is not graspable by personal minds or brains. This is not a concept, but an experience. It can only be experienced through (and as) the heart.
There is no time in this Love, and with it, also space gets transcended.
It’s pure inspiration - which means to be „in spirit“.
You can feel it in art, music and writing, when they are inspired by a force beyond this world of form.
This, my friends, is the essence of true Love and if you always thought, that liking is loving, then I can only tell you:
And God thinks otherwise. (T-23.I.2.)
How is this Love expressed in the world of form?
Primarily through an acceptance of everything the other person appears to be and through forgiveness of all perceptions of differences, that are not yet accepted.
This is my definition of true Love and the essence of what is called a Holy Relationship in ACIM (as I have written about in my last article)
The moment you enter into a Holy Relationship, everything is healed.
All past hurts, all present insecurities and all future misunderstandings.
This healing enfolds over time, but happens actually in the Holy Instant - the moment, when two minds are joined as one.
And so it is done…
For my eternal Love:
Thank you for receiving me. Thank you, for daring to be loved and broken into a million pieces.
Thank you for being such a pure vessel for my Love and showing me, that giving and receiving are the same - in form and beyond.
Thank you for your Love - that is mine - and amplifying it a million times.
Thank you for being the embodiment of this true Love.
In eternal gratefulness and Love…