HOW I LOST 7 YEARS BY ASKING MYSELF THE WRONG QUESTION - LESSONS FOR MY POSTERITY
I've been thinking that as I am writing my blog on a blockchain...my kids and the kids of my kids will be able to read what I am writing today. What a thought!
So here I am, maybe 50 years from now, my grand kids will be reading this, taking some wisdom from my 30 years old self. I have vertigo just pondering this thought.
But it also trills me considering this could be a "time capsule" that I will be able to pass down the generations.
This One is About Choosing a Career...
I always marveled at people who knew from a very early age what they wanted to do in life. One of my sister's knew since age 11 that she would like to be a nurse for example. That was definitely not my case. The world was my oyster and the buffet was so large that I couldn't pinpoint exactly what I wanted to do in life.
There was also a lie that I bought into when I was in my teenage years. I bought the idea that in order to be completely happy and fulfilled I would have to find my "dream job".
"What is my dream job?" I kept asking...
From age 18 to 25, I was on a quest to find my "dream job". The list of job that I tried is quite long...ranging from cabinetmaking to flight attendant. I was blessed with a mind that learns very fast and that's what allowed me to be very flexible in my interest BUT it was also a curse since I got bored quite easily.
After working 3 to 6 months in any job, I ended up coming to that wall:
"Is that it? Is that what I want to do for the rest of my life?"
I then left the job and went to look for greener pastures. This condition of mine also paralyzed me from going to study at a college or university. My interests where so diverse and all over the place that I couldn't pinpoint a topic I would study for 3 to 5 years. Also how could I be sure that I would actually want to work in that field after?
Find the Right Question and You'll Find the Right Answer
So what is my dream job? The answer finally came while I was taking a shower in my apartment in Lachine, Quebec:
My dream job will be the job that allow me to create my ideal lifestyle.
EUREKA!
After drying myself up, I sat down with a journal in my hands and wrote down what would my ideal lifestyle would look like:
- I would be able to work from wherever I want
- I would not have an alarm clock
- I would not get stuck in traffic
- I would always be in "learning mode"
- I would be able to see my kids grow and spend time with them
- I would only be working with people I want to work with
- I would not have a glass ceiling on my earnings
From what I could see, only something I can do over the internet could provide this type of "lifestyle". I then, taking my skills into account, honed in and decided that "internet marketing" was the way to go for me. I like people, I like psychology, I like business and I'm a good promoter.
Finally I could get going on the journey
It took me almost 5 years of trial and error on the internet to make it work BUT I can say now that I am exactly where I want to be.
Is marketing my "dream job"? Maybe...but that's beside the point. The point is that all the criterias above are fulfilled.
So if you are one of those people who KNOW what your dream job is since you are a kid, don't bother with this advice...but if you are have a brain wired like mine, with too many interests pulling you in different direction, then this advice is for you.
Happiness doesn't come from a job but from a lifestyle
Lifestyle is much more "holistic" than what you do from 9 to 5. Asking yourself "what would be my ideal lifestyle?" is a bigger question that brings better answers about what you need in order to live "The Good Life".
Because, after all, isn't that what we are all after? The Good Life?
I can relate 100% to what you describe....Sadly, it took me close to half a century to realize what you describe here :-)
If you care to have a look at my introduceyourself post, that´s exactly what you will see... https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@claudiop63/portrait-of-an-innovation-addict-my-journey-from-quantum-chromodynamics-to-cryptos-going-through-cern-and-lots-of-other-places
wow...just wow
Wow ! I just read this ! What a pleasure writing with you for a minute yesterday :)
Hi @cryptoctopus I feel 100% identified with this post, after working hard for others for a long time I realized that was not the life I wanted, one day i take the decision to work for me and turn what was my hobby into my job (Fix Computers) Now I work in my own home, make more money, and I spend a lot of time with my family. how you say Happiness doesn't come from a job but from a lifestyle, now i feel i have a better lifestyle.
Interesting post. I think that we need to find ourselves what "the good life" means or even what "the good person" means. What society considers a "good (bad) life" or "good (bad) person" does not necessarily mean that it is sustainable, healthy or logical. We have to find it out ourselves by constant questioning of ourselves and everything around us. We have to stay true to our own integrity and express ourselves without trying to mold into social expectations of what "good life" or "good person" should be.
I personally like to draw from the experience of my culture over thousands of years to help me navigate the big question of the Good Life. There is wisdom there since, as far as I know for me, seems to be pretty bang on.
Be productive, love your neighbor, build a family you can be proud of, choose your partner carefully, avoid bad company, etc.
These are very sustainable values. Different cultures can certainly teach us many sustainable values but they also can teach us a lot of primitive behaviour. In our culture (it just slightly varies globally-geopolitically) it seems that everything is the other way around - opposite of sustainable. One example (and probably the most important one) is that this culture's values system is built around perpetuation and maximization of profit and acquisition of wealth as priority over social and environmental well being. Values are fluctuating within cultures just like notions of beauty.
https://steemit.com/life/@logic/the-ever-changing-faces-of-beauty (old post)
I think that is why we need to find a point of reference in finding out what values are sustainable and what aren't. I myself use science as point of reference, especially current discoveries in science of human behavior (human behavioral evolution and biology, how human behavour is shaped by biological, psychological and social factors etc).
Wow ! Thats nice and very touching. I am so grateful that I can say , just a few days before my birthday and I'm not in my 30's anymore ..... I had a Damn Good Life ! I can truly say, I did not miss out on anything except ....I might have to write about soon
Thank you for this post. It is always assumed that we know what we want to do as a career. Those of us that don't feel strange.
This is exactly the way that I have always felt. I can't choose or pin myself down.
As your post suggests perhaps I have been framing the whole question the wrong way.
I will think about framing it in lifestyle terms from now on. Thanks for sharing your insight.
Glad that you are able to find your dream job. For me, I am hoping that Steemit will be the answer to my dream job
I know exactly what you mean... Happiness is a conscious choice. I use to think it was when I reached X goal or X life situation I would be happy, but it was never the case. You can't always chose your circumstances, but you can choose your emotional reaction... I choose to be happy ;)
nice
I wrote a post about careers too. I wanted to be a teacher when I was younger, and short story is I'm not. We must all work through ourselves to see what we like and what we need. Great post!
Great article @cryptoctopus. Loved the photo with bulb striking instant idea.