in life •  2 years ago 

February 26, 2018
12:51 AM

A 'Journal' Entry

Life's been pretty ugly lately. Well, a lot of things have changed these past few days. I think to be honest, I'm getting depressed. If you've read my post before about how to move on the wrong way , then you've probably read the reason why I wanted to move on, which is about this particular friend that I've noticed that our friendship was fading.

Well, this friend that I was talking about, talked to me last Friday and told me that he would go out with his friends tomorrow, which is Saturday, February 25.

In those group of friends, his ex is there. He told me that he and his ex is in good terms and they are still "best friends" (how'bout me though? I thought we were best friends). Actually, I believe that you can't be friends with your ex because there's a reason why it's called "ex" and that is to cut ties with that person. That's what ex means to me. It means that you can't be friends with them again. Well, you could have a peaceful break up and still greet eachother but not be friends to the point of hanging out like every weekend.

Anyways, going back to what I was saying, he went out with his friends yesterday and we didn't talk that much particularly because I didn't want to because I know he's gonna have fun with his "ex" and I don't wanna interfere.

Today, I asked him about what happened. I asked for pics because I want to see who he's with and mainly because I want to see a pic of his ex. He told me he didn't want to send it because he is "drunk" and "holding a cigratte". I didn't want to react to him because I know he would only tell me that it is not my business to tell him what to do and that drinking and smoking is not wrong. The thing with me is that I hate it when people drink or smoke because it's just like taking your own life slowly. He knows I don't like those things. He even told me before that he would never drink again because it's a piece of crap but I guess people change.

I am mad at this person because he used me as if I was a tool. After using me to cover up some holes, he would just leave me and forget me. Oh wait, I forgot to mention that his ex confessed to him like two weeks ago telling him that she still likes him. I noticed that when he knew about this, he keeps on hanging out with his ex and with his ex's group of friends. Last week, he sent me pictures of them. Sweet pictures. As in pictures that I think couples do where they would hug, piggy-back ride(?), and take candid pics. When I saw those pics, I realized that he's happy with his life and he no longer needs me. I realized that the reason why our friendship was fading is because he is having fun with his life and with his ex.

Earlier, I asked him if he still likes her. He can't answer me with a direct answer. He keeps on telling me that action speaks louder than words and that his ex understands that there's a reason behind those hugs, those smiles, and those whatever the heck they do. All those stupid promises that he made were just empty words. He once told me that I was his priority but I guess it was just a joke. He told me I am going to be his date to prom but I guess not anymore. He told me so many things but I believe promises are meant to be broken.

All I want is to cut ties with my friend and take this experience as a lesson that I should be aware of next time I make friends with others. I want to avoid him but I can't. I want to slap him in the face and make him realize how big of an ass he is.

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