So, as I've lived and looked back at my life, I've made one sobering discovery...
You can not rewind the hands of time.
It is futile. Obviously
Earlier this year, I turned 30. And boy, was I not entirely happy about it.
My inner child, screaming in panic/anger
Why? Well, I realized a couple things.
- 1: I had quit playing my guitar around the age of 24.
- 2: I had quit working on amateur game making shortly there after.
- 3: I was rather out of shape.
- I weighed around 255 pounds when I got married.
And alongside all of this, the big one...
- 4: I spent a vast quantity of time doing things that were not fruitful, or doing not much of anything at all.
Dang. Looking back and realizing how much I had going for me was very, very, disappointing. It took me turning 30 and realizing all this to realize that I myself was the source of much of my own unhappiness. That fact, once realized by myself, sparked a change in me.
The operative word here is sparked. Turning that spark into a flame is a process. Turning that flame into a roaring fire is a long term process indeed. So, about 2.5 months ago, I opted to start making changes and staying consistent in my goals.
One of the first of my goals.... Get in shape.
I have not been on a track/in a marathon in 12 years
For me, getting in shape was tough starting out. When I was 25, I decided to try something.
I stopped drinking cola, quit eating so much fast food, and stopped eating snacks that were pre-processed and packed in a wrapper. As for exercise? I simply started walking more, and sitting less.
By the time I was almost 27, I was down to a stable 195-205 lbs. Much better than before.
But it was only recently (beginning of this year in fact), that I decided to really start trying.
I started drinking water on the regular.
For some people that may not be a challenge. But when your daily drinking includes 3-4 cups of coffee and 2 cans of redbull, it can be tough. However, it didn't take long for the benefits of such a decision to start making themselves known. But there was still one thing bothering me. What I did (and didn't do) with the free time I have. So, 2.5 months ago, I decided to start actually working out.
Dumb bells are your friend fam
Starting with two 15lb dumb bells, and two 20lb dumb bells, I began to fall back into my old routine from highschool. And in little time, I'm reaping the rewards of consistent hardwork. This is all fine and dandy, but what about playing guitar, and making games? Well, this is the thing, you see....
I realized my life priorities had changed.
Me with a guitar these days
I realized that, as much as I lament the time I've wasted, the only thing to do is move forward. Move forward and work towards what matters. Balancing my time better. Making time for personal projects etc. Making sure to spend more time with family and friends. I'm sure you get the picture.
But don't get me wrong. I still find a little time to jam out, and who knows, maybe I'll have a homebrew game to share sometime in the not to distant future. :)
I guess my bottom line is this.
Even if you have wasted your time, or let things get out of hand in your life, YOU are the only one that can bring about change. Starting this process can be daunting, but if you focus your efforts and keep your eyes on the long term, you will see the changes come to fruition.
Chin up, and keep fighting :)
All images from Pixabay.