Am I going Crazy?

I love the smell of Gipfeli in the morning

When things get rough, I try to take the small positives in life and cling on to those. This morning someone brought croissants into the office for a meeting, but I just loved smelling them.

The pressure has been immense lately, I have one month left with my current employer and so far I have no prospects on a new job. I know that this can change any minute, but I have a family to look after and in the meantime my employer has also started playing games:

• Last week I got a reference from my employer that looked like it was written by a 5 year old, or in the words of my unemployment counsellor: “I assume that it is written by someone who is not a native German speaker”
• For this reference I had to wait almost 2 months, whilst they had already given me my notice
• My colleague is getting outplacement help because he’s turned 40, however because I’m only 38 I am not entitled to this

This and the pressure that I’m getting from everyone around me is giving me so much to stir on, that I have trouble falling asleep at night or I wake up in the middle of the night on multiple occasions. The effect of this is that I don’t sleep (well) and the day after I am more agitated, this has been going on for a longer period of time combined with other symptoms that I didn’t see as being related initially, but they all point to the fact that I am stressed and prone to get a depression if I don’t counter this quickly. I have even taken it out on my family on occasions and when this started I knew that I’d have to take action. I went to see my doctor yesterday and besides some tablets to help me sleep and calm my nerves he’s now also referred me to a psychotherapist …

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Yeah, I was thinking the same thing ”Have I gone insane? Am I a nutcase?”, but I know this is for the best. Opening my heart to you guys is helping, but apparently it’s not enough. Clearly I need interaction with a person to go more deeper into the problems and ensure that I deal with them adequately … and maybe we find out about some unresolved mummy issues, now that would be a great post to write about 😉

Have you ever needed help, how do you prepare yourself for this and how can I get the best out of this? Do you have any advice how I should approach this?

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