Channeling anger into something greater

The other day I tried my hand at playing music in the street. It just so happened that almost everyone I'm friends with wanted to meet on Friday and so I invited 4 different groups of people along. 9 of us had dinner and then came to watch me play in the street.

I played a song and a half and the cops came. "We had a noise complaint". No they didn't. We all know that there are no residential buildings around and people have been playing music at the station all week for 20 years. But since the station was renovated, the cops have been cracking down on busking.

It's all part of the plan to make the area a major shopping center, something which residents had tried to resist for 40 years, but developers here are patient and so 6 years ago the old market was torn down to make a parking lot and a big road was paved out where the above ground train tracks used to be, now the train is below ground.

"It's for safety" they say, but it's sure funny how department stores started cropping up in this neighborhood, funny how accidents happened when landlords didn't want to give up their land, funny how police are patrolling the area constantly to scare away all the hippies. We've all seen this so many times before, we know the only reason they neighborhood is being redesigned is to maximize profit of people who have the most lobbying power.

So when the cop stopped me i just asked him "So this town is dead now?". That flustered him. Most people are too scared to talk back, but I wasn't talking back, I was just making conversation and he shat on my day so I wanted him to know how unappreciated he was. Thankfully I'm in a place where cops are not supposed to be allowed to abuse residents or citizens, and I had enough friendly witnesses around to know he wouldn't abuse his power. I wish I had said more about his position as a dog for rich folk but I was trying not to let my annoyance turn to rage, because I didnt want to cross the line and actually have him write up a report which might show up in a database.

This is the kind of thing which used to infuriate me. I'd go into week long rants about how fucked up the world is. I'd scare people away in the process and end up depressed with little energy to do anything. This time is different though.

I'm channeling this energy. I am using this anger as fuel for productivity. I'm using it to help me overcome my fears of failure and my fear of being myself. I realized that when I stay calm, absolutely no one sides with the police in this situation. The worst I might get is a "Stay out of trouble!" from my parents, but at this point I don't even think it'll phase me like it used to.

I'm doubling down on who I really am, taking this as an opportunity to share my truth more openly and with less fear. I used to be scared of painting a Target on my back by being too vocal, but I'm starting to realize that fear will only lead us into a darker and darker place where none of us are happy and where we end up destroying ourselves.

If we all stay quiet, what will change? Power will become more and more concentrated and our freedom will become more and more colonized by those whose will is to control us.

On the other hand, if we react out of rage and fear and hate, it will give them an excuse to clamp down even harder.

The only choice we have, if we want to see a brighter and freer world, is to work on staying compassionate and face fear as firmly as we can, drawing boundaries where we can, and speaking up where we can't, encouraging others to question the rules and to join us, without pressuring them to do so.

A majority is not required to make a difference, the minority just needs to be more unified and firm in their convictions to cause change. Massive action may also be a catalyst for change, but daily interactions are catalyst for larger action, and for cultural change.

I may have been forced to shut down my performance, but I did not let it ruin my night. We bought some beers and went right back to where we were and joked around and made friends with some of the people around us. Despite the attempts to turn the area into a cultural wasteland where people just spend money, the station is still well known among passionate people and artists and so there are always lots of loiterers, so we made friends with a few. I had a chance to introduce artist friends to worker bee friends and they shared ideas and become comfortable with each other. I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in 10 years.

It turned into an awesome, meaningful night. The anger is still there, no doubt, but I'm still channeling it. In the past I'd be scared to share all this, but the anger has helped me to be more open which feels so good because this is who I am! Being censored once has given me the drive to stop self-censoring to a much larger degree in my daily life. I'll even share this story with some students. Why not?

The key is staying rooted in love. Even anger can be rooted in love. This anger is fuel for me to spread love and make life better for those around me, and most importantly to be myself with greater conviction and less fear.

Thank you Mr. Policeman for doing your job and being a dick. You are a blessing in disguise!

I can still busk online! If you like what I'm about, I encourage you to check out my stories and songs at I+Everything

Peace and love, even to dickhead cops!