Cats and My Day

This is not really about the cats but about me

This isn't my normal blog and this isn't even my regular writing style. You can check that I have worked hard on my previous blogs. Maybe except for the last one prior this as it was just a haiku. But today I am just so tired about a lot of things and I feel like I'm falling into a lowly state again.

I want to quit my job

I've been serving my company for almost 7 years and a lot of times I was heartbroken due to office politics, gossips and the lack of fairness. I have contemplated several times but could just not find a better opportunity. But today they just pushed me to my limit. They did not pay me of my medical reimbursement worth Php10,000 (approx USD 200) due to a loophole in the system. Their reason is that the 2017 payroll has closed and it's the company's prerogative to pay it or not. (and they closed 2017 payroll before they released the payment!).

So you may say it's just a small amount to quit. Maybe for you it's a small amount but it's worth 1 month of my medication to treat my papillary thyroid tumors. I had to work so hard to keep up with the monthly medication and I can only reimburse just one month and they didn't even give it.

More than just the amount

I know that it's not the end of the world if I don't receive that amount. But more than that amount it made me realize how insignificant of an employee I am. I have worked with their international payroll team previously and I have handled many cases of people being given exceptions to be paid thousands and even millions of dollars (yep, it's a bank of millionaires and we are the planktons that support them from the Philippines). And they get approved and get paid. My reimbursement is just considered tiny coins for them but they value every cent they will save from their employees from this part of the world.

It also made me think whether they really care for me. My claim was due to medical reasons and they didn't think twice. But they can approve other requests so that their directors can continue with their luxurious lifestyle.

My Mind's A Mess

So I have these cat photos here. I initially really wanted to do a cat post because I'm just physically and mentally tired. I've been here for less than 2 months and have made more than a thousand of posts.

I'm trying too hard

Am I trying too hard? I think I am and because of that I get that feeling that Steemit isn't for me. I really want to be successful here but I just can't fit in.

I'll just try again

I don't know maybe I'll just try again until I'm exhausted and have nothing left in me. Maybe that's the time I'll stop. Maybe..

So here are some more cat photos I took at the Ayala triangle park here in Makati, Philippines just to lighten my depressive post

Sorry but this is me today. I'm just a mess and cannot even write a clear post.