Your comfort zone is slowly destroying you
I do not know whether you have the same experience:
In university, what scares me the most is the need to make a speech.
Because before university, basically only need to answer the questions.
However, in the university’s course, the lecturer will often ask you speak on the podium. At that time I was just a freshman, I can’t adapt, in the end, I began to panic, do not know what I’m saying, and my performance is very bad.
Then I realized that since it was unavoidable, it would be better to adapt rather than embarrass myself on the podium.
So, I would choose to enroll in a class that would voluntarily take the stage.
When I am ready, I will also imagine myself in a big classroom, giving lectures to my classmates.
After several speeches in the classroom, I feel that I have become more relaxed, and will not be confused, but can smoothly speak out the speech I have prepared.
Slowly, I was no longer afraid of such classes.
Everyone has a place to stay, a role to play, a habit of doing, these all are our comfort zone.
Once something goes against these habits, we get into the panic mode, if we don't make a decision to go out, it's hard to break through our comfort zone.
All the problem comes because we are too reliant on our comfort zone.
We are too accustomed to the comfort zone and confine ourselves to the area.
When we stay in a certain state for too long, we will get too "comfortable", but it will also bring in lazy thoughts, started to slow down and slacks.
Just like speaking on stage, if I don't force myself to practice and adapt, I will never do well.
Only by breaking through the comfort zone can you will know how powerful you are.
Why is it hard to break through the comfort zone?
Getting out of the comfort zone is challenging, and it requires a firm conviction and the courage to act.
So, why is it people are so scared to get out of the comfort zone?
In the book “Reach: How to Build Confidence and Step Outside Your Comfort Zone”, the author, Andy Molinsky, he mentioned that escaping the situations and tasks that scare us is the most natural thing in the world.
When we escape, we may temporarily relieve anxiety and fear, but at the same time, we reject the real opportunity.
In our daily life, we usually use the following ways to evade:
1) Escape
For example, if you don't want to give a speech, you will take a leave of absence from class; If you don't like parties, just don't pick up the phone and pretend not to know.
2) Perfunctory rather than try your best
It's like you don't want to go for the reunion party, but you have to go, and you go there, and you play your phone at the party.
3) Delay
We will find excuses to comfort ourselves why we should do all sorts of other things rather than finish the task.
4) Shirking responsibility
That is to let others take on the tasks that are in your charge.
However, avoidance is a vicious cycle, the equivalent of quench thirst, temporarily avoiding stressful work, and over time, it will eventually increase your stress level.
In the end, you can't get out of the comfort zone, and the chances to try are fading.
How to break through the comfort zone?
Although it is difficult to get out of the comfort zone, it is not impossible.
Andy Molinsky mentioned that there are 3 key sources of behavioral transformation that give you confidence, courage, and ability to make you take a critical first step and be truly determined to move beyond the comfort zone.
1.) Firm Belief:
Have a strong sense of purpose and mission in what you do.
You must believe that this goal is reasonable and effective and that it is worth enduring tension and stress to achieve.
For example, the belief that people want to lose weight and become healthier.
2) Customization Action:
Find your own unique, most natural way of behaving.
For example, if you want to be a speaker like Steve Jobs, what you have to do is not imitate his movements, dress up, talk about what he says.
What you need to do is find someone who is willing to listen to you, like friends and family, put on your comfortable clothes, and use your comfortable way to say what you prepared to say
This will allow you to break through the comfort zone that you don't want to talk about and start trying to speak.
3) Enhanced Clarity:
It is clear that we are escaping from this fact, recognizing the way in which we are escaping, and recognizing that we are trying to evade the truth and deceive ourselves.
How can you improve your clarity?
You can use the following 3 ways:
Address yourself in a third person: Experiments show that when you address yourself in a third person, the brain's response area is easy to accept just like the suggestion from your friends, to get a fairer and clearer perspective and to reduce anxiety.
Practice self-reflection: Record your failures, major difficulties, and sad experiences. This can ease your mood and improve your health.
Get clarity from the other person's perspective: Look for an insightful mentor who can be your parent, teacher, friend, or role model.
How to continue to break through the comfort zone?
Just like giving a speech on the stage, once you break through the comfort zone, you will find that what you have been afraid of is not as scary as you think, and you can totally handle it.
So the new question arises: how do we keep this going?
How can new and challenging behaviors be incorporated into the original behavior patterns and become part of our capabilities?
1) Keep practicing
Constant practice is one of the most important ways a person will just master the new skills and gradually play their own skill.
Therefore, we need rigorous and effective day-to-day practice, and gradually increase the difficulty of our challenges.
In other words, we don't need to challenge the highest difficulty immediately, but step by step.
2) Has a learning mode of thinking
Don't think of failure as your inner limit, or it will become your limitation.
Instead, consider mistakes as part of the learning process, accept your imperfections, and believe that you can change these mistakes over the course of a cumulative study.
3) Learn to turn to others for help
Asking for help and feedback is an advantage, you can ask people around you to monitor your behavior, and you can get guidance from a training and a book.
A disabled athlete, Amy Purdy, said in a speech:
Adversity only brings two kinds of results, one is to keep us in the same place, the other is to force us to be full of creativity.
In the face of adversity, you can choose to be trapped in the same place, you can choose to break through adversity.
Same goes for the comfort zone, whether or not to break it, are your own choice.
But what I can be sure, if you don't get out of the comfort zone and you never know how much potential you have.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://walkinharmony.vornix.blog/2018/07/27/your-comfort-zone-is-slowly-destroying-you/
This is how immersion therapy works. I have a friend who is basically a weekend alcoholic, in order to try and relax and make conversation with new people. In went to a professional therapist who recommended anxiety medication, but the side effects can be very serious.
I'm trying to get him into immersion therapy, because the underlying problem is, he's afraid to talk to new people. I believe that if he joined a speech writing class, or a debate club, he could gain the confidence to put himself through new situations. Alcohol is his comfort zone, and it's doing most of the things you have mentioned.
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