The negative impact of making comparison
In the course of our day, from the beginning when we opened our eyes in the morning, to the end when we close our eyes at night, we are constantly making choices (such as what time to get up? Do you want to greet him? How to start the day? Where to go after work? What to eat after work ... )
Another is that we are doing comparison every day with everything around us. Once there is a comparison, there is bound to be a drop, either better than you or worse than you. Everything has two sides, by making comparison can have a positive impact on you, can also have a negative impact on you. At work, doing the same job, colleague A used 20 minutes to complete, and you spent 1 hour to complete.
By contrast, you spend 3 times as much time complete the task compared to colleague A.
When facing this fact, the ways you might think are:
Positive: He completed the task with very little time, he must have his method and skill, I should humbly ask him about the way he did it and improve my efficiency by learning his methods.
Negative: The same task, someone else only used 20 minutes, and I used an hour to barely get the job done. I am so stupid, I don’t have the ability, maybe I am not suitable for this job (beginning to constantly self-denial)
The positive influence of comparison can bring people into the benign circle, this post mainly discusses the negative influence of comparison, the causes of it and the ways to solve it.
From the example above, we see the result: for the same task, colleague A spends 20 minutes to complete, and you use an hour to complete. In this matter, you can look at the object of the comparison which is colleague A. If there is another colleague B also doing the same task, he spent 2 hours and the task has not been completed. This time, seeing such a result, your original inferior mood will be much better. Comfort yourself, you are not the worst. If there is another colleague C doing this task, and he was unable to finish it and gave up.
At this point, you may post a variety of labels on your colleagues in the scoring of this task.
Colleague A- Excellent
Me- Good
Colleague B- Passed
Colleague C- Failed
From this, don’t you think that the "me" on the list is funny? The object of comparison is confined to the small circle in which one's eyes are available.
If 80% of the colleagues in the company belong to the type like colleague A, then you are the worst.
On Instagram or any other social media, they are filled with a large number of pictures that are envy by many people: luxury cars, mansions, branded clothes ...
I believe that whenever you see this type of pictures, you cannot help but compare what is in the photo with what you have. Others drive around the world in luxury cars, and you drive a second-hand car and afraid your car will breakdown on the road. As soon as someone graduates, they work in their parents' company, and you drop out of school and constantly changing new job. Others...... and you.......
At this time, you used to compare, will you not feel that you are very small in an instant?
You may take it for granted that the whole world is filled with images that you are out of reach.
But the real world is not like this.
People have the nature of seeking profit and avoiding harm, compared to those who are poor, famine and so on "bad" pictures, people are more willing to look at those beautiful pictures, and we choose to shield those pictures that are “not good”, objective and real.
Take your Facebook for an example, people will generally share good photos, and will not share their "bad" photos: such as unemployment, criticism by the manager, debt and so on. So most of what you see on Facebook is good photos, but you can't generalize about it and think that the whole world is the photos you see. In a sense, all you see is an illusion.
What is the root cause of the comparison?
I think it can be divided into two parts, inborn and acquired.
Inborn:
Our genes are inherent with our own comparing functions. In a cage filled with monkeys, you give a banana to one of the monkeys. While the lucky monkey was eating the banana, some of the other monkeys looked at that lucky monkey, and some immediately cast an expectant look at you. Although we can't understand what the monkeys are saying, we can see from their expressions what their inner activities are like-----Filled with envy, jealousy, anticipation, and desire. Why do they produce these inner activities? The reason is simple, by comparing themselves with the only monkey that eats the banana.
If you are a little more mischievous, continue to give the bananas to the same monkey, that monkey will be bullied by other monkeys.
Acquired:
I don't know when you're young, maybe because you're too naughty, maybe because you failed the exam, maybe because you didn't greet the elders, maybe because you stole your parents' money to buy your favorite toys ...
The adult will say: “Look at XXX, look at XX family children, how well they behave, and you? You should learn from them.”
When facing other people's comments, how did you feel at that time?
From the moment we were sensible, we lived in comparison that the outside environment had inflicted on us. One of the most prominent performance should be the exam results. Every time after an exam, when the results were announced, almost all students wish to get good results they desire. Normally, in a class, there must be some students who get a good result, some students get a moderate result, and a small number of students fail.
When the result is announced, each student is holding his or her own result and compare with the students in the class.
So how do we avoid or reduce the negative impact that comparison has on us?
First of all, you have to objectively acknowledge the existence of this phenomenon, you can not completely eliminate the idea that you don’t want to compare with everything around you.
Second, the object of comparison cannot be limited to your own line of sight.
Thirdly, it is usually because the comparison has a lot of negative effects that are objective "facts". For example, your appearance, family background, education, etc...
You may have inferiority, but the negative impact you have on these realities, will not help the current situation at all, will make you more degenerate. The right thing to do is to lower the demands on yourself, acknowledge and accept the existence of those objective "facts."
Understand one truth: You can't change your status quo immediately.
Finally, we are often caught in some of the pitfalls of thinking, and the negative impact of comparison is one of them.
When facing them, we need to understand their existence objectively, train ourselves to be good at identifying them, and keep a certain distance from them so that they will not harm us.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://walkinharmony.vornix.blog/2019/02/20/the-negative-impact-of-making-comparison/