What is my freedom of today? About writing and eating dreams.
I am tired of making up dreams to follow. I am absolutely pro being a person with goals and wishes for one's life, but for me, it has come to a point. In 15 years I have been living in my dreams - thinking that "it will come" and " it will happen in the future one time or another", without taking the proper responsibility of the here and now!
Now, that seems a bit pessimistic, right?
No. I don't think so. As I am a person with a lot of creativity, I tend to jump. From one place to the other, dream after dream, but now I want to ask myself - what is a dream really all about?
I have been aware of my own weakness of jumping from one dream to another, living and feeding myself on different dreams, but now it seems that I have come to a new point.
I have to sort out things. Again. Prioritize. Again. Reset my values, really think them through. Again.
Since I was twelve, I have told myself that I am the author type, the one that will get so famous that I can live happily ever after only with selling books. I was like: This is what I'm going to do. I don't want to obey the rest. I just want to write and earn a lot of money.
A kind of egoistic goal, that one. It could have ended there. I could have done it, really really hard work, following the crowd, the recipes of writing the correct stuff, entertaining in the right way - you see I do believe that with the right attitude one can come really far.
The problem is that I have standards, as well. I have own meanings, opinions. I have special preferences on how I want it. So not only do I have this really egoistic dream - I have really high standards for it as well!
So I kind of reset myself all the time.
And in a way that is really good because it is very important for me to write something that I can be proud of in 30 years time as well. Not only because someone else liked it but because I liked it and still like it many years from now!
And my freedom for today is that I have let go of the dream of becoming a millionaire and really popular as an author. I have come to a point where I want to take responsibility for my life. Look it in the eyes. And still, continue to stand.
I want to write for myself. Finally. After all these years. My stories are mine! And while I do want editors to look at my stuff, while I do want to go indie and pay for more eyes than my own ones when looking through my written works to see if it is readable - it is still mine! I choose to do with my texts as I like!
It feels so wonderful to not eat this dream, cause I don't want it anymore. I want to live, and I want to write for myself!
I'm going to upvote ur post when I have more. Power so it will be worth a whopping 0. 0 2 lol! Still it's still something like I said get ur head around the discord app which is like a better version of Skype. There u can promote your posts and more ppl can find u!
Awww, thank you!! I can't give any points right now and I haven't done so in many days, I thought it charged itself up each day? I don't understand why and should get into it for sure.
The discord, yes I have downloaded the app here on my pc but cannot understand it. Maybe I should try it out again? Thank you for the comment, though. Really appreciated with all the support that I can get! ^^
Bah, look, trying to vote, nothing comes. Haven't used it in some time, either?
because your steam power is quite low... you need at least 100 sp atm to even have a 0.001 upvote. Dont worry if i was u just vote on everything and anything you like because it doesnt matter if you power is high or low unfortunately because your vote will be worth 0.00 until u have more sp or the price of the steam dolloar goes up. just enjoy being on here and meeting new ppl and sharing your stuff!
I love bikes.Living out your dreams is the best. Thanks for sharing, hehe. You are awesome. I'm Oatmeal Joey Arnold. You can call me Joey.
Hello Joey, nice to meet you! And thank you for the comment ^^