Self-harm of Deceit (Part 2) – How Does a Lie we Tell Hurt us? How do we Live Without it?

In the previous part of this subject Self-harm of Deceit Part 1 we explored the origins of how lies come into our lives. Now let us have a look at how a lie affects our life negatively and what happens when we live without it.

(This is a post by @Zakludick and he will receive 50% of the total payout of this post)

How Does a True Lie Hurt us?

Based on the previous post above a true lie is when you speak something completely contrary to what you know is the truth. You might do this to deceive someone. However, unless it is a life or death situation, this unacceptable to others.

Is it acceptable to you when others lie to you? Probably not.

The range of harm and level of betrayal varies dependant on the relationship between the two people. It could be a salesman and a customer or it could be a husband and a wife. Either way, the trust is broken when it is proved that the other person has lied to you and that in itself is a bad thing for you. Or vice versa.

However, this is not the subject of this post.

This post has to do with how the lie affects ourselves.

How does a lie we tell hurt us?

Usually, people lie to their employer or manager, they may lie to different family members or their spouse and eventually these lies can spill over into other areas of our lives. The minute you lie, you may be called to repeat that lie and it will cause you the need to remember what lie you told them. If it is simple then you will repeat that lie over and over until it is the well-rehearsed story that you end up believing yourself.

So you’ve twisted your reality and your integrity in order to make something that is false, true.

However, it does not end there. Far more often the lie we tell one person is not the same as the lie we tell others. This will force you to remember 1) your false information given to one party and 2) then your false information to another as well as 3) what is really true and 4,5) what you know you cannot say to each of the parties involved separately.

Your anxiety picks up and you will need to constantly validate your answers to everyone. Something will eventually break. Will it be your integrity? Your moral beliefs? Will it be your self-image? Or will it be others’ respect for you when eventually you are found out?

If you are found out to have lied, especially multiple times then you will be known by your deceit. You will be known as a liar, a con-artist or some name that is more colorful.

If you are never found out to have lied, but do so all the time anyway then you travel on a tightrope all the time. The knife’s edge is at your throat and you have a dozen little tweaks to reality that you will need to keep track of all the time.

In fact, you will be spending so much time with your deceit that it will take up more and more of your memory and thinking capacity until something breaks. Like a computer virus that duplicates itself over a system it will take 5% of processing power, then 10%, soon it will be 50% and so on until the system can no longer support it and an error occurs.

There have been lots of dramatic things that people have done over the years to hide their deceit or the lack of handling it that caused people to hurt themselves.

Lying can make us oppose ourselves when we get tied into something complicated.

How Does Deceit-Free Living Benefit us?

Living free of the above is to live without struggle inside of yourself.

To never tell a lie means that you will not need to remember who you are lying to. No altered perceptions of reality and no multiplication of facts to hold on to.

You get to move from place to place knowing that whatever you tell one person, you can tell another person the exact same thing. It lifts a barrier between ourselves and others.

You will also be known for your honesty and your openness. When you actually need something then people know that the reason and motive behind your request is sincere.

More importantly is that struggle against the self. There is no need to constantly have an internal debate about what to tell who. This reduces stress.

When would it benefit you from lying? I am not talking about protection someone when you are being held at gunpoint… deceive away. Your conscience will be clear. I am talking about lying to your mother, your spouse, your friends or your children. You hide something and if you live with them then sooner or later the truth will come out. Then you have to deal with the backlash.

So it was of very little benefit in any case. The thing that you were avoiding came forward in any case so what did you improve? You stalled the inevitable and probably caused even more harm because of it.

The primary benefit is not to be contrary towards yourself anymore.

How to Live Life Without Lying.

Train yourself every day to be a little bit more open. Do not cut corners.

PLEASE NOTE: I am not telling you that it is OK to be an asshole.

You can be honest without being offensive. I am not saying be super PC. (see previous post on the matter). However you need to know what you are talking about and then you can speak the truth objectively, without changing details to suit someone’s feelings.

Sometimes people will ask for an account of an incident. What happened? Who did not follow procedure? Why was someone going against plan?

Often it is someone’s job to collect information and to present findings. When that happens it must be accurate. If it is not accurate then you are lying and wasting time. The investigation will turn up the truth anyhow.

It can be a slow process, choose your words well. Choose the right ones and try to remove words that have to do with feelings when you are relaying facts.

There are many examples in my daily life regarding how people speak that give me the hints that they are being dishonest. I cannot list them all to you. However, once you get the gist of what I am telling you about perceptions and true lies then you will hear what I mean.

Just make sure that you apply it to yourself.

Conclusion

Lying is a by-product of discovering reality and as such unavoidable. It is not an evil thing. It is a negative social construct. When it is allowed to mature into a habit it becomes a terrible factor in your life.

To improve your life, align yourself and what you say to the true state of reality. This makes it easier to exist in this world that is ruled by so many other factors that affect our lives physically and socially.

Again, this philosophy is designed to improve your general day-to-day life. It will cause you to act and think in such a way that you will not stand against yourself.

Live life simply. Free your words and free your soul. Deceit breeds unhappiness.

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