There Is Nothing Wrong With You or Anyone Else

Waves in the ocean and human beings share many similarities, with one key distinction.

Both the wave and the human being are born into this world, made of this world. No two waves are ever exactly the same size and shape, and no two waves have ever traveled exactly the same path. In the same way, no two human beings are ever exactly the same, physically or mentally, and no two human beings have ever shared the exact same experiences.

The wave is completely unique, and the human being is completely unique. This phrase seems undoubtedly true, and yet it would seem to imply that the way we live our lives is a grave contradiction. This differentiates the human from the wave.

Humans feels guilty for being different. Waves do not.

Why do we feel jealous when we see a friend get promoted at work when we don't? Why do we feel a need to live up to some imaginary set of expectations, perhaps those of our parents, our peer group, or society as a whole, in every decision we make? Why do we feel a need to constantly judge others, comparing them to ourselves?

In one sense we know we are meant to be unique, and in another we try desperately to be like others in an effort to "fit in" and feel successful.

When we look out at the ocean, we don't judge the waves in the same way we judge other humans. We don't find ourselves making fun of a small wave because it is less magnificent than the one before it, because we know that each wave is just one piece of a massively complex process called 'nature,' and that it's perfect in its own way.

So why do we treat ourselves and other humans differently?

The life of a human being is just a process of nature, like a wave in the ocean. When we judge ourselves and we judge others, we are really trying to judge nature itself.

This leads to enormous difficulty, because we are trying to judge nature even though we are a part of nature. That's like trying to look at your own eyes.

This vicious circle of trying to judge the very thing that makes us human naturally leads to a cynical world view, because the more intimately one investigates life, the more he or she realizes how little control we actually have over it when all the illusions are cleared away.

We are all unique waves, and we cannot change that.

We have very little control over our circumstances and the actions prompted by them.

Naturally this is a very controversial statement, and one that everyone seems to have an opinion on depending on their circumstances (a further confirmation of the theory).

Those who are prosperous like to believe we have complete and utter control over all of our circumstances and actions, such as to validate their own prosperity by believing they truly earned everything they have. The opposite is true of those who are suffering, who believe we are largely just products of circumstance.

The former statement has been presented in many different ways, some seen as less abrasive than others. Everything in your life you are attracting. I just work harder than everyone else. Of course it doesn't take much to prove this mindset is simply an illusion, but that is outside the scope of this article. One damning example of the significant effects of circumstance on perspective and morality is the clear correlation between geography and religious belief.

All judgement of yourself and others goes away when it becomes clear that life is like riding a roller-coaster, and you cannot control the direction of a roller-coaster while you are riding it.

For some this is a very liberating feeling, and for others it sounds borderline insane because of the implications they assign to this idea.

Does this mean we should stop imprisoning people for murder? After all, it wasn't really their fault they murdered someone, they are just victims of circumstance.

This is a non-sequitur often used to color this view of life as absurd, and is of course a terrible idea. I am not proposing that we no longer protect individual rights or cease to imprison law breakers, but rather that we just look at these people differently. This can perhaps best be illustrated by example.

When a common person hears of a terror attack, the most common emotional responses are anger and hatred. When, however, you talk to a wise man, you will notice these emotions are absent. Instead he will respond to the event with sympathy. Rather than referring to the terrorist as a filthy animal, he will wonder to himself, "how sad that a human being was so far misled by those around him."

Another example of this can be found in the words of Jesus, who, while nailed to the cross, did not shower anger and contempt for those who crucified and then mocked him, but rather sympathy for their clearly misguided ways.

When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. (Luke 23:33 - 23:34)

Even for those who are not religious, there is a very powerful lesson to be learned here.

The wise man does not demonize human beings, because he knows everyone, including you, only acts according to what they believe is right, which is heavily circumstantial.

This is another idea that naturally sparks controversy, because it is essentially a proclamation that there is no such thing as true evil: an act in which the person does something that they know is the wrong choice.

This idea has been echoed by philosophers throughout history. No one does who does wrong knows that they are doing wrong, they think what they are doing is right.

Equipping yourself with this knowledge is an incredibly liberating experience.

You start to flow with life, no longer constantly trying to judge it and the people in it. You recognize that you are nothing more than a wave among an ocean of other waves, and cease trying to alter the shape and trajectory of the wave that is your life.

So long as you believe there is something wrong with you, you will continue to try against all odds to change the very nature of your being. In the end all attempts of this kind fail, and those who pursued them realize they have wasted their time.

[Life] exists for this moment. It is a dance, and when you are dancing you are not intent on getting somewhere. You go round and round, but not under the illusion that you are pursuing something, or fleeing from the jaws of hell. Alan Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity, 115

When you reach this stage, it becomes clear that the trials and tribulations of life are not to be judged, but rather ridden and enjoyed like the ups and downs of a roller-coaster.

It becomes clear that the pursuit of wealth and fame is nothing more than an illusion, one that invariably detracts from the richness of life.

It becomes clear that we should treat others with compassion, and that we should show them a better way rather than condemn and demonize them invariably for their misguided beliefs.

Recognize that you are the wave, and you will begin to enjoy the ride.

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I hope you enjoyed this article. I know this article contains some heavy topics, so if you have any questions or wish to discuss, please leave a comment below. I frequently post articles on thought-provoking philosophical ideas, and would love you to follow me @tylerkmwilliams if you would like to see more of my work.

Feel free to take a look at my previous article, Life is NOT Short.