Do We Ever Really Know Someone?
It's hard sharing your life with someone, only for you to separate and then realize that you didn't really know that person at all. At the end of the day it is up to each person to decide how much of themselves they wish to share with you.
Yet I can't help but feel betrayed when someone I have had in my life, for over a decade, is suddenly a stranger to me. I am like an open book, I really like to connect with people and I love to share ideas and visions with those who feel the same enthusiasm for life that I do.
I want to build connections and I want to share. I may not be the most social person at times, but that's okay, I don't need to be, I just need to be true to who I am. My lifestyle is a testament to that, I am very passionate about leaving as small a footprint as possible on the earth and I am always looking for ways in which I can continue to be of service to her.
I thought that this person was similar in their views and ideas, but their actions of late have shown that they are not. Indeed they are just like a stranger to me. In the end I guess I just never understood them and that is what is the most important thing. Being with someone who agrees with you, is not the same as understanding them.
We all have different perspectives and approaches to life, and unless someone shares those things with you, unless they bare their soul ,then it is really hard to understand who they are. We may thing we do, because of what they say and how they act, but it is what they are not saying that speaks volumes.
The silences that go on, asking what they are thinking and always hearing the same reply 'Nothing'. I got used to that in a way and I understood that it is not fair to ask someone to give something they are not comfortable in giving. But still, over time you expect more, you expect to have shared yourself in a more intimate way.
But like I said already, I kind of got used to it and accepted it, without understanding what it really meant. That is the thing, when you are in a relationship with someone, it can become really hard to see what is going on, especially when one person is holding back.
I understand that there are reasons why some people do that, why they feel the need to protect themselves and hold back. That is a part of who they are. But finding out that everything they said was just in agreement with what I said and not actually how they felt, that has hit me hard. I shared so much of myself and they shared so little.
It seems that almost everyday something else comes up that surprises me. Almost like a light has been shone on the last few years of my life.
I do know that people come in and out of our lives all of the time and that each person we meet has something to teach us, good and bad. Something that we need to learn. At the end of the day we really only know ourselves, so letting go of any expectations is a good thing to do and realizing that rather than trying to know someone we should really aim to understand them.
All images are mine!
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The truth here, is that you really only know yourself. And sometimes that takes a process of discovery.
I'm sorry. This is a painful time.
Your images are brilliant, expressive. Even without the writing, they tell the story.
I wish you peace.
thanks so much @agmoore xxx
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A huge hug from @amico! 🤗
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Sending love your way - I so deeply empathise with what you're going through. ❤
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thank you Aisling, it's really great to connect with you again, I hope you are well xxxx
You never truly know someone - we don't even always know ourselves.
Life is a long journey. People are going to make mistakes. Sometimes people do bad things.
Noone sane is the bad guy of their own story; and bad people certainly don't come with horns on their head as standard.
In that sense then, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable to be a good person - you have to take the risk to let people into your bubble.
And sometimes, they burst that bubble.
The hardest thing to do is not let it change who you are - and keep being a good person. But it's the right thing to do.
that is very true @nerserus, it is the circumstances and experiences that shape a person and we are changing all of the time xx
I understand your position. One of the things that creates most noise in our relationships with other people is expectation. We expect so many things that we believe to be tacit and logical that, in the end, disappointment overcomes us when we face a failed reality in terms of what we give, what we expect and what we receive. It is true that many times we have found that we have lost years believing that we have built a solid and harmonious relationship based on mutual knowledge and it turns out that it is not so, each was mounted on a different hill and the voices were not like that, but echoes that often arrive distorted.
It is best not to expect anything from another, but that is too difficult. We want to give, to stir, to mix our essences.
it really is difficult, especially after sharing your life together not to expect, yet I know we should not, we really need to embrace others, but if they are hiding who they are that what is there to embrace? Thank you my friend xx
This post got me thinking. Our experiences are not just things that happen but also what we chose at the time we engage with encounters, act and with what we share our time with. But really also people we have chosen to be with, we must learn to cherish in our hearts, because it becomes a big part of learning to respect ourselves. Aspiring to learn this. Profound post that i can relate to. Someone that completely cuts ties and vanishes might have his or her reasons. As diplomatic as one tries to be, relationship can end in people even ghosting. Learning to forgive someone and forgiving oneself isn't so easy i feel?
Forgiveness takes time for sure and I am not ready for that yet, but one day I will. Now I am just processing the last 11 years and trying to make sense of some things but I am in a good place now, if a bit tired and run down, but then we always have to go down in order to come back up xxxx
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