I think I found out the most important question of my life. What will be the question you would ask yourself?

Recently, I have been having several moral and emotional conundrums. Part of me has always looked at life as being carefree, happy and living the dream. Who wouldn't like that? I know I do. I wouldn't mind having a happy, carefree and lazy life. Find the perfect girl, have the perfect house, a never emptying bank account, respected and admired, blah blah.

In fact, I suppose 90% of people would like that.

But over last winter and the start of the new year, I've been in a dilemma. The dilemma that stems out of confusion and a thought towards the future. I was recovering from a broken wrist which meant I had to sit at home most of the time. The positive outcome of this period was that I did a lot of thinking over the future and what was it that I wanted to accomplish in my life and the future. I looked back at life all these years, floating away and going by so damn fast that I cannot seem to catch a break to do somethings I really wanted to do. Adding to this was the drama of sleepless nights, long, awkward conversations with myself, and day dreaming every moment that I possibly could about the future that I wanted for myself.

For most of my adolescence and youth, I fantasized about being an engineer. I studied hard for it. Anxious moments of waiting for results coupled with joy or pain were a common theme. This was what kept me going, and now, I have managed to achieve it. I wanted a job with one of the best companies in the world. I wanted it really badly. And I managed to get it.

And from what people said, the future would be all bright and shiny now that I had a job with one of the reputed companies in the world.

Work hard and the money will come rolling in. The world is at your fingertips. You can go anywhere you want with the money you have and do everything you want to do....

In my mind, it was never a question of if I would be able to do all those things. All I had to do was bide my time and earn enough to do that. But before that, I had to work and slog for a dozen something years. I needed to make the money, and then find the time. And then... probably nothing.

So why do I have this nagging feeling that if I continue whatever it is I am doing, it is going to be a mountain of dreams and a mile-high climb to the top.

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Somehow, our culture and all that it entails told me that "I just wanted to have it bad enough", and that I just need to "hang in there" and the dream will happen. But the more I thought about it, the simpler the truth became. I had thought that I wanted something and I got it. But turns out I did not actually want it. It is as simple as that.

I want the reward of living life the way I dream of it, but not the way of suffering .

I realize this is not the way I want to climb to the top.

Which brought me to the question that I consider the most important one I've ever asked myself:

What was the suffering I was willing to accept? Or...

What was I willing to suffer for?

The more I pondered over this question, the more clarity I got with my answers. I was willing to suffer the workouts and the ache of the gym, but in return I got a good physique and kept lean and fit. I was willing to suffer through the bruised knees,the broken wrists and the surgeries because I wanted to ride my bike again.

I was willing to suffer through the bad days if it meant I did the things I believe in 100%.

I realized that I was not willing to suffer in a relationship with someone who no longer had time for me. I was not willing to suffer in keeping up with people if they no longer showed interest in doing the same. I realized that I was not ready to put up with the suffering of working that does not give me inner peace and satisfaction.

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I realize that this is the most important question of my life: What was I willing to suffer for?

Because in the end, the sufferings determine the successes. And I need to choose wisely.

What is the question that you would want to ask yourself about your life, your goals, dreams and aspirations? Let me know in the comments below.

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If you like my work, kindly upvote, comment and resteem/share with friends. You may like some of my other articles from my blog. You can check them via the links below:

The mistakes I've made in my 20s

Teaching school children the importance of science and helping them program robots!

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Image sources: From my awesome collection of wallpapers from many, many years ago.